


Dream Eater

by OperaGoose



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Canon Universe, Destiny Islands, Dreaming, Friendship, Multi, Polyamory, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-07-29 21:42:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 33,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7700803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OperaGoose/pseuds/OperaGoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's over. They've defeated Xehanort and saved the worlds. Sora, Riku and Kairi are allowed to return home to Destiny Islands. But when Sora begins to have nightmares, Riku's responsibilities as his Dream Eater will bring them closer than ever before. Romance and friendship, and being there for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Duty

**Author's Note:**

> Assumed knowledge of Kingdom Hearts I, II and DDD. I'm doing my best to stick to canon, but if I need the wriggle room I am going to take it. Mostly in Riku's perspective, but occasionally from Sora's.

For the longest time, the responsibility of being Sora’s Dream Eater did not come with much to actually do. They were all busy, saving the worlds and defeating Xehanort in his many guises. He may have been the true keyblade master, but they all knew that Sora was the hero of light. 

When it was all over and done with, and the three of them went back to Destiny Islands, his responsibilities began to change. He was no longer responsible for the protection of the Door To Darkness, or any more Kingdom Hearts. He wasn’t _really_ a keyblade master any more – but he was still Sora’s Dream Eater. 

Sora wasn’t the type to let his brain get in the way of his mission—but they didn’t have those any more. There was nothing left to distract him, apparently from his own thoughts. 

Riku had just moved into his own place. There was an old, run-down cottage by the beach they were happy to hand over to him. Not too far from Sora’s family home, which was in turn a few streets away from the family Kairi lived with. 

He was trying to find the right location for his lounge when _something_ throbbed through him. His head snapped up, a weird feeling coming over him. It felt like he was part of a tide that was washing out in a sudden rush. 

“ _Riku!_ ” Sora’s voice echoed in his head, without ever passing his ears. 

Whirling around to try and find his friend, his stomach swooped. It felt like the ground dropped out from underneath him. He tipped back, falling deep and down. His eyes opened, though he’d never had them closed: streaks of light and coloured spiralled around as he passed. He tilted his head back and saw the bright white light he was plummeting (or was he flying?) towards? 

It absorbed him and he felt warm, embraced by something that was completely _S o r a._

He opened his eyes again, this time into darkness. His pulse thrummed in his ears, but he ignored it, eyes frantically searching. It was a moment before he found Sora. He was writhing and struggling in a mass of what Riku realised was hundreds of heartless. 

As he watched, Sora struggled out of their grip enough to free his mouth. “Donald! Goofy! Kairi! Riku! Anybody! Help me!” 

_Really? I’m **fourth**? _ His hand clenched in a practiced movement, a familiar weight settled into his hand. “Sora!” He ran towards the mass. It only took a few slashes to clear them all. Did Sora really think he was that good? Or was it just that anyone had come to save him?” 

“Riku…” 

He held a hand down to pull him back to his feet. “You were having a nightmare.” 

Sora blinked at him, then said: “wait… Riku?” 

“Yes…?” 

“ **Actual** Riku?” 

He raised his eyebrows slightly. “Do you dream about me a lot, Sora?” 

The brunet blushed and reached over to punch his arm. “What are you doing here?” 

“I’m your Dream Eater,” Riku reminded him. “You called out to me. Here I am.” 

“…I guess.” Sora’s arms moved up to prop his head back. “Thanks, Riku. For chasing away my nightmare.” 

“Any time.” He held his hand out. “Come on. I’ll give you something better than that.” 

For a moment, Sora just stared at him. He thought briefly that the air around himself seemed to glow a little brighter. Then Sora practically launched at him to grab his hand, as if he was afraid he couldn’t take it. 

Riku remembered, the moment their fingers touched, of the moment that had started the whole adventure. Their world tearing up around them, offering his hand to Sora to come with him. And being swallowed by the darkness before their hands could touch. 

Instinctively, he gripped tight. Sora grinned widely at him. “So! Where are we going?” 

There was only one place that came to mind. Only one place he really felt at home, at peace. 

The darkness flew away like doves. First the raised little island with the curved trunk of the paopu tree, six perfect fruit nestled in the leaves. Bit by bit, the rest of the island emerged from the darkness. The grass and the earth; the rocky cliffs; the wooden bridged and structures built over generations before them; the pristine white sand, dotted along the tide lines with little colourful shells; their little raft, shoddy but theirs; and finally the ocean and the sky, stretching out endlessly until they touched. 

“Wow! This old place!” Sora laughed, delighted. “It’s perfect! How did you remember so much?” 

Riku, intensely aware that they hadn’t let of each other’s hands, shrugged and looked away. “This place makes me happy. I like to imagine it exactly how it was.” 

Sora started running then, pulling Riku along by the hand. “When Hurricane Season ends, we should come out here again, clean this place up.” 

They hadn’t really gone to the islands in years. Since the Mark of Mastery exam, really. They had been too busy. It was probably torn up and trashed, lashing under the half a dozen hurricanes since then. From the window of his new house, Riku can see that the shape of the island has changed since then. Who knew what other damage had been done since then? 

He was about to say that it was too much work for just the two of them, but Sora continued: “All of us! Me and Kairi and you—and Tidus and Wakka and Selphie!” 

Riku let Sora’s hand slip out of his. Dream logic meant it slipped away, no matter how hard Sora had been holding on in return. 

They slowed to a stop and Sora turned to look at him, upset. 

“I should go,” he said. “Let you dream in peace.” 

“But I want you to stay…” 

“It won’t turn into a nightmare. I gave you a good one.” 

“That’s not what I meant. Riku…” He stepped closer, taking his hand again. “I want to be here with you.” 

“…okay,” he said, resigned. “I’ll stay. But just for tonight.” 

~v~ 

When he woke up the next morning, he was half-collapsed over the cushions of his lounge. His muscles burned from the awkward position; and he was exhausted as if he’d been up all night fighting the heartless. He groaned and sat up, trying to loosen up his shoulders and back. 

He had meant to set his bed up the previous night. He’d meant to do a lot of unpacking, actually. Damn. 

He’d have to get to that later. Right now he needed a hot shower and sleep. He wouldn’t get it. 

Halfway through washing his hair, the bathroom door busted open. Destiny Islands wasn’t exactly the sort of place you locked your front door, and he’d thought the sound of the shower would discourage anyone from coming into the bathroom. 

But not Sora. “Riku!” he called excitedly, coming in and sitting himself on the sink counter. “Was that really you last night.” 

“Yes.” He shifted awkwardly, glad he’d gotten the sort of shower curtain that you couldn’t easily see through. “Sora, I’m in the shower.” 

The brunet didn’t take the hint. “I know. You better hurry it up or you’ll be late for school.” 

School. He’d forgotten. He was only just eighteen, so he still had to go for this last year. He groaned. “Is it that time of year already?” 

For the most part, the Destiny Islands were very lax about what the islander children actually did during the day. The tropical archipelago, eight hour’s ferry ride from The Mainland, spent half of the year so oppressively hot nobody felt much like anything. Then, for four months in the middle of the year, it was Hurricane Season. The weather cooled, a little, due to the frequent rain. 

The threat meant that they wanted everyone close by and easily accounted for. So anyone who had been seventeen or under at the beginning of the year were shuffled into the school hall and made to learn things. Like reading, writing, local history, basic mathematics and sciences, survival skill—and once a week they had a kendo master come over from The Mainland to teach them different swordfighting. That had always been Riku’s favourite lesson. 

Before they’d left their world the first time, Riku hadn’t stood a chance at beating the master—now it was almost too easy. 

“Come on, Riku!” Sora whined. 

He was snapped from his thoughts. “I’m getting out. Get off my back, would you?” He reached out a hand to grab his towel. Once he had it wrapped around his hips, he stepped out of the stall. 

Sora’s eyes roved over his chest with a sort of ambient curiosity. No admiration, or anything of the sort, just something new to look at. A sort of ‘that’s what you look like without a shirt, okay’ gaze. When his eyes caught on Riku’s left side, however, an involuntary gasp caught in his throat. 

Riku quickly turned away. His side, he knew, was an ugly mess of scar tissue. Xemnas’ laser swords may have instantly cauterized the wound, his it had taken months for it to properly heal—and it would probably always be an ugly scar. 

“…wow,” Sora said, impressed now. “When did you get that?” 

Riku glanced behind himself, at what Sora meant. He caught a glimpse of the black ink tattooed on his back. The Dream Eater symbol. “After the Mark of Mastery exam,” he admitted. “When you went away.” 

Sora distancing himself had hurt—and though Riku would never interfere with something that important to Sora, it had been hard to be separated again. They’d only just reunited. So he’d marked himself with the symbol that tied them together. 

He was broken out of his thoughts again by a flick to the ear. “Stop spacing out, Riku! We’re going to be late.” 

“Let me get dressed, Sora. Go hang out somewhere else.” 

“Can I raid your kitchen?” 

“You won’t find much, but go ahead.” 

When he came back out, Sora was sitting on the kitchen counter waiting for him, helping himself to a box of cookies his own mother had made. They’d been a sort of housewarming present, but it was some of the only food he actually had in the house. 

“There you are!” Sora said, jumping off. “If we hurry, we might catch up with Kairi!” 

  



	2. Count Your Lucky Stars

Riku had hoped the nightmare was a one-time event. Sora was as carefree and happy-go-lucky as he always had been. But at night, when Riku was his most productive, Sora called out to him in his nightmares—and he **had** to go save him. 

He was exhausted, looking like he hadn’t slept in a week, falling asleep during class. He was realising, quickly, that when he went into Sora’s dreams, it didn’t mean he was asleep at the same time. 

As the week moved on, he tried falling asleep first—in the bed he had finally gotten around to setting up. But it was no use. As soon as Sora called out to him, he was jolted awake, and then dropped down into Sora’s dreams. 

They were usually the same. Sora, somewhere, alone, being overwhelmed by heartless, or sometimes nobodies, or the Organisation XIII. Once, even Xehanort himself. It was the same—Riku came in, summoned his keyblade, got rid of the danger, and took Sora back to their island. From there, Riku would try to leave but with just a few words, Sora would have him agreeing to stay. 

Monday came around again. Riku had gotten some sleep over the weekend, lazing around in a patch of sunlight like a cat. But school came again. By the time Sora had, gleefully, let himself into the house, he was already dressed and ready to go. 

“You’re ready!” Sora said, surprised. 

Riku grunted, tucking the straps of his bag up over his shoulder and holding the door. Sora kept giving him looks as they walked past Sora’s place to head on to Kairi’s, and from there to the school hall. Riku was too tired to even try and consider what the looks meant. 

“…your hair is getting long again?” 

“Huh?” Riku said, turning to look at him. 

“Your hair. It’s growing out.” 

“It does that.” He reached up to tug at the fringe locks that were hanging in his eyes. 

“See, it’s all in your eyes!” Sora laughed. 

The brunet reached up to push the hair out of his face. Riku managed out a frantic “wait, don’t!” before it was too late. 

Sora hissed through his teeth, staring. His eyes, wide and blue as the ocean, stared at the purple and green lump on Riku’s forehead. 

The former keyblade master stepped away, batting Sora’s hands off of him. “It’s nothing.” 

“Riku…” He sounded upset—concerned. “What happened?” 

He didn’t want to answer. But he knew Sora would just keep pestering him about it until he fessed up. He sighed, resigned. “When you called out to me on Friday night, I fell and hit my head.” 

That, at least, had Sora staying quiet until they got to Kairi’s house. But he doubted that would be the last of it. 

At lunch, when Kairi was handing out everyone’s lunches, Sora dropped down to sit directly next to him, their thighs pressed right up against each other. “So, I’ve come up with a solution.” 

Riku raised his eyebrows. “Did you?” 

“I can’t have you injuring yourself because you’re surprised by me calling out for you. You need to know when I’m going to sleep, and probably when I’m starting my nightmare too.” 

That did make sense. In Sora’s own sort of way. “What, are you finally going to stick to a bed time?” 

Sora pulled a face at that. “No!” He grinned, and said (loudly): “obviously, we have to sleep together!” 

Kairi, who had at that moment reached them with their lunches, laughed. “Welcome to flawless Sora logic.” She sat down on the other side of Sora. “I hope you take him out to dinner first, Riku. Be the gentleman.” 

“Does letting him raid my kitchen first count?” Riku deadpanned. She laughed. 

“Hey!” Sora protested loudly. “Who says I’m the girl?” 

“I think the point is that neither of you are a girl,” Kairi pointed out. “Anyway. Why are you and Riku finally consummating your gay love for each other?” 

Riku pulled a face at her over Sora’s suddenly loudly protesting head: “I’m not gay!” 

“Sora’s having nightmares. He needs me to help.” He looked away. 

“Sora!” she scolded, worried. “You didn’t tell me you’ve been having nightmares.” 

“Riku’s been helping me out. I didn’t want to worry you.” Sora sounded uncharacteristically hesitant. 

“But you don’t mind worrying Riku about it,” she pointed out, giggling. 

“It’s my duty,” he interrupted, before Sora could start yelling about things again. 

“Right.” The three of them were silent for a long, awkward moment. “So, you guys are going to have a sleepover? For Sora’s dreams?” 

“Yeah!” Sora said eagerly. “It’ll be great. We’ll stay at Riku’s new place.” 

“You should probably check with your mother first,” Riku pointed out. 

Sora huffed at that, and Riku understood. They had been across the worlds, to the realms of darkness, and back again, fought in a war with the fate of all people in the balance—and now he had to ask permission to stay overnight. Well. There was a reason Riku had gotten his own place. 

“Maybe Kairi can come over too!” Sora’s eager voice broke him out of his thoguths. 

“…would that be okay, Riku? It is your place after all.” 

He nodded, glad she had asked. Sora had always treated everything that was Riku’s like it was his own. “Of course. We’re all friends after all.” 

She smiled. “Well. I’ll ask. I probably won’t be allowed to stay the night, but I’m sure I can come over for the afternoon.” 

~v~ 

Sora came over with a huge bag of stuff, and a casserole from his mother that they could both have for dinner. She was aware of how much they both ate, and hadn’t felt right about forcing Riku to provide for her son. 

Kairi did come over—with a giftbasket of local fruits as a housewarming gift. She stayed until the sun was setting and then stood, straightening her school skirt. “I should go. Riku, would you mind walking me home?” 

He sat up straighter and gave Sora a confused look. Why was she asking _him_? “Uh. Yeah. Sure.” 

They were halfway there before she spoke, her voice soft and hesitant. “Riku… are you okay?” 

He blinked, confused. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“You look exhausted – you’ve been getting worse this last week. You keep falling asleep in class. I’m worried about you.” 

“Oh.” He bowed his head, fringe covering his eyes as he looked down at his feet. “I’m sure I’ll be fine.” 

“…this is about Sora’s nightmares, isn’t it?” She guessed. He just sighed and looked away. “Riku, if it’s hurting you…” 

“No, it’s nothing like that.” He shook his head vehemently. “It’s just exhausting. And I don’t get any sleep while we’re together in his dreams.” 

She sighed. “Well. Maybe it’ll be different when you two are sleeping with each other.” 

Remembering the awkwardness of their conversation at lunch, he felt his expression screw up before he could think to stop it. 

She gave him a long look. “Riku… you love Sora, don’t you?” 

He hung his head. “Of course.” He paused. “We’re best friends.” 

“No, I mean…” 

“I know what you mean,” he said quietly. “But we’re best friends. You heard him. He’s not gay.” 

“I don’t know if it’s as simple as that.” 

But it could be. “You’re his most important person.” Simple and clean. Kairi loved Sora—Sora loved Kairi. It wouldn’t be long before they stopped dancing around each other and got together. 

She sighed, and gave him a pitying look. “Whatever makes him happy, right?” 

He nodded. “Exactly. And that’s why I have to keep helping him with his nightmares.” 

She nodded, and then fixed him with a stubborn glare. “If it gets bad, I’m not going to keep letting it go.” 

“Deal.” 

They walked the rest of the way in silence. When he got back to his house, Sora was hanging over his fence in the front yard, chatting to the elderly neighbour. “Riku!” he yelled eagerly, nearly overbalancing as he waved frantically. 

“Careful,” he warned, grabbing him to make sure he didn’t overbalance. “Let’s head inside.” He needed to turn on the lights before he got too dark. 

“Okay. Bye, Old Lady!” He trotted after his friend. “So! What are we going to do now?” 

It was late for Sora by the time they actually called it a night. He was yawning, leaning heavily against Riku. 

He chuckled and nudged the brunet. “Come on, sleepyhead. Let’s get you in bed.” 

It was a squat little house of only one storey. The bedroom came off the sitting room, the soft light of a table lamp illuminating a twin bed pushed up against his window that suddenly looked very small. 

“You go to bed,” Riku said quietly. “I’ll make sure everything is turned off.” 

Sora yawned and shuffled off into the bedroom. Riku closed the lights off, leaving the curtains open so the moonlight into the rooms. It left deep, dark shadows that made him shiver. He hurried over to the window, bathing himself in moonlight He looked up at the stars, naming the ones he knew to make sure they were all accounted for. 

“…Riku?” 

He turned, startled, to see Sora standing in the doorway, wearing pyjamas and a confused look. “What is it?” 

“What are you doing?” 

“Looking at all of the worlds,” he admitted softly. 

“Making sure none of them are going out?” Sora guessed. 

He gave a slight, sad smile. “Yeah. I guess.” 

“You know… there’s an even better view from the window in here…” 

“Oh.” He blinked. “You want me to… Well. I was going to let you go to sleep first. I didn’t think you wanted me around when you were trying to get to sleep.” 

“I do,” Sora replied quietly. “Please.” 

“Okay. I mean, I’m going to end up there anyway, aren’t I?” He followed the brunet back into the bedroom. Sora settled into the bed while he changed into a pair of loose pyjama pants. 

He thought it might be uncomfortable, the two of them settling together in his little bed. But they fit together easily. Sora lay on his back, Riku on his side beside him, looking over him and out the window to the sky. 

“Traverse Town,” he mouthed to himself, wanting to keep silent so Sora could sleep. “Wonderland, Deep Jungle, Land of the Dragons—” 

“You forgot Olympus,” Sora said through a yawn. 

He glanced down to see Sora watching him. “I was getting back around to it,” Riku replied. 

“Mhm. Sure you were. Land of the Dragons?” 

“Beast’s Castle,” he went on, aloud now. “Radiant Gardens, Twilight Town…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone was curious, I used [this map here](http://orig14.deviantart.net/1361/f/2010/167/6/c/6c98cc8ff2c4055c46c0b76bb961f9a8.png) as a guide for the order of the worlds.


	3. The Eye of the Hurricane

Sora didn’t have a nightmare that first night. He stopped having them night after night—or at least the times he stayed with Riku in his bed. Every night at home sparked nightmares worse than the others. 

Then the first bad storm had hit. Across the island, storm shutters were bolted shut, sandbags were piled, everything liable to be blown away was fastened down. Dark clouds obscured the sky day and night. There were no stars to count, no moon to shed light on the darkness, and Sora’s mother kept him locked up in the family home. 

The first night, Sora’s nightmare rocked them both to the core. It was the first night again—their world being torn apart by darkness. No matter how much Riku shouted Sora’s name, he couldn’t be heard over the howling wind. 

Sora frantically searched the island, screaming for him, for Kairi. The ground in his wake tearing up and falling into the black hole in the sky. 

Riku’s own fear must have been hindering him—the faster he tried to run, the slower he moved. 

Finally, Sora collapsed at the base of the paopu tree, clutching what was left of the trunk; with the smallest patch of sand and grass to kneel on. He screamed Riku’s name, his voice hoarse, almost burned out. 

He reached him then, dropping onto his knees and clutching him tight. “Sora,” he said. Or tried to say. There was still no sound to it. 

Sora gripped his arms, shaking with terror. “Riku!” 

The Dream Eater squeezed his eyes shut, took a deep breath and tried to absorb everything about the nightmare. He struggled for a moment to think of where else to send him, instead of back to the island that had just disappeared. 

His own memory answered for him, and before long they were clutching each other and shaking in the middle of the rising falls of Hollow Bastion. Before it had become Radiant Gardens again. 

“Sora,” he said again, glad that he could speak now. “I’m here now. The nightmare is over now.” 

“Riku,” Sora repeated, clutching him tightly. “Don’t leave me alone again. Riku. Please.” 

Riku stayed wth him all night, holding him tight; murmuring anything and everything that came to mind. He didn’t top until the brunet faded from his arms, the sure sign that he had woken up. 

The rest of the dream faded, the sounds of the strange gravity of the rising falls fading into the wind and rain lashing against his house. His candle was burning low and he rushed to light another before the shadows swallowed the room. 

For three days and nights, it went the same. Sora had the same dream when he slept, but every night, Riku got quicker and quicker at catching him, comforting him and taking to Hollow Bastion where the sounds of the storm made a different kind of sense. 

On the fourth day, exhausted, he stood in the middle of his sitting room. The eye of the hurricane had just crossed them. Eerie stillness, too quiet—nobody daring to make a sound. The deep breath before the rage of nature started again. 

Five minutes in, just as he was expecting the wind and rain to flare back to life, there was a frantic knocking on his front door. 

_What the hell?_

“Riku! Riku let me in!” 

Swearing, he went to the door. “Sora, what the hell are you doing?” The bolts of the door were heavy and slow to move, but when he had them open, the door yanked outwards and Sora forced himself in. “Sora, it’s the middle of a hurricane! What the hell were you thinking? What if the wind had started again while you were on the street?” 

“I made it, didn’t I?” He replied, tugging the door bolt into place and effectively sealing himself in. 

“It was stupid and reckless! You could have been **killed**!” His anger gave out, and relief flooded through him. He grabbed Sora tightly and yanked him close in a fierce embrace. “Thank the light you’re okay.” 

Sora pulled back enough to give him a bright grin, then pressed back into his chest. Before either of them could speak again, the wind roared back to life. Sora shivered in his arms, but only for a passing moment. 

“Come on,” Riku said, leading him over to the coffee table with the candle. “I have a deck of cards. It’ll have to do.” 

The storm lasted another four days. They slept together in the middle of the living room, Sora clinging to him and snoring. The dreams kept happening, but they seemed to be much less severe. Sora murmured the names of the words into his chest in a strange order, though there were no stars to count. 

“Do you think Donald and Goofy are okay? And the king?” He asked on their second night. 

“I’m sure they’re fine,” Riku replied. “Maybe they’ll come to visit soon.” 

“I hope so…” 

When the rain finally stopped, and the sun came out, Sora’s mother was at his door within the hour. She was furious at him for running out into the storm, and dragged him home by the ear. 

~v~ 

Sora was afraid of being alone. Once he figured that out, he felt like an idiot for not realising it before. It became easier to do his Dream Eater duties after that. 

If Sora was staying with, as he did a few nights every week, he could leave him in a good dream with a friend or more to keep him company. Most often Kairi, but sometimes Donald and Goofy, or the friends they’d made in other worlds. Sora would sleep the rest of the night through, and Riku would manage to get his own sleep. 

He’d tried it on the nights Sora slept at home. But the tests ended up causing him to have multiple nightmares in the same night and leaving them both completely exhausted the next day. So he always stayed all night with Sora when he was away. 

Hurricane season went on. Many more smaller storms, but only a couple as bad as the first. The two of them clung together—Sora would always appear on his doorstep if the stormclouds gathered. Sora’s mother stopped being so angry about it after the few times, coming around to the fact that her son was safe somewhere at least, even if it wasn’t with her at home. 

As the weeks passed, Kairi’s concerned looks started getting more and more angry. 

“You need to talk to him!” she said, over and over again. 

“It’s fine. We’re working on it.” But not really. Riku still had to go into his dreams every night he was away, and half of the nights they were together. 

He knew Kairi’s patience with him had a threshold. But he did not account for what she would do when she crossed it. 


	4. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first section of this chapter is from Sora's perspective, the latter part back to Riku's.

“Sora!” 

He turned, an eager smile on his face. Seeing Kairi always made warmth bloom through his chest, and butterflies flutter through his stomach. She was his most important person. Just having her around made everything better. 

“Kairi,” he greeted, once she was close enough. 

“Will you walk me home?” She asked, smiling. “There’s something I want to talk to you about. Something important.” 

Sora’s heart skipped a beat. Was this it? Was it time? “Yeah, of course!” he said eagerly. He was nervous now. Was he ready for this? 

He knew things between the two of them were going to change. Expectation was heavy about it, had been for years. But he just wasn’t sure if he was _ready_ for their relationship to change yet. 

His eyes slid past Kairi, locking on Riku standing on the other side of the school hall’s cloakroom. But then his best friend gave him that smile—the one that made him feel like he could do anything. 

“Let me grab my bag and we’ll go.” 

A moment later, it hit him in the chest. He glared at Riku, who was turning away with a slight smile on his face. 

“I guess we can go now then…” Kairi was walking away, and he had to hurry after her. “Hey, what’s the hurry?” He asked with a nervous laugh. 

She glanced at him, but didn’t slow down until they’d turned into the next street. “Sora…” She began hesitantly. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with Riku lately…” 

“I have?” He asked, confused. “I guess so?” He tapped the side of his head, confused. “Is that… bad?” 

“Well, no.” She gave him a concerned look. “Sora… You love Riku, don’t you?” 

He blinked at her, his mouth hanging open. “Of course!” How could she even question that? “He’s my best friend!” 

She gave a strange little huff of breath at that. One he didn’t really understand. “…if something was hurting Riku, you’d do anything you could to help him. Wouldn’t you?” 

His face screwed up in confusion. “Yeah. Anything at all! Anytime!” 

She sighed and gave him a long, silent look. “Haven’t you noticed, Sora?” 

“Huh? Noticed what?” 

She sighed his name again, frustrated. “You’re exhausting him. Every day, almost, he looks more and more tired. I’ve talked to him about it so many times, but he won’t stop.” 

“Riku…” 

“Sora. You know he’ll do anything for you, no matter it does to him.” She turned and grabbed his hands, holding them tightly. “You have to do something, Sora. For Riku.” 

He lowered his head, looking at their joined hands. “I… I didn’t realize.” He’d been so grateful to have his best friend around he’d been ignoring what was happening. “What has he told you?” 

When he was walking back to his own house, he thought everything over. He still needed Riku—his nightmares weren’t going away by themselves. 

So he tried to remember—those times when Riku woke up easier in the mornings. Obviously, those nights when Sora didn’t have any nightmares at all. When Riku by his side was enough to chase off the terror, the two of them safe and close together. Riku’s voice lulling him to sleep as he named the worlds in the sky, his breathing smooth and even to keep him company when he wasn’t awake to notice it. 

Other than that… 

There were those nights when Riku chased off the nightmare and left him in a dream—with friends for company. But that only worked properly when they were together as well. 

By the time he reached the kitchen, his mother busy at the stove, he’d come up with the only viable solution. “Mom,” he said, determined. “I want to move in with Riku.” 

She paused in the middle of stirring, then continued after a moment. “That’s out of the question, Sora. You’re still sixteen.” 

“I’ll be seventeen in a couple of weeks,” he argued. 

“Then in a couple weeks and one year, we can have this discussion again,” she replied, her voice calm. “Can you set the table?” 

“Mom, please. I’m being serious.” 

“You are still _a child_ , Sora. You can’t live on your own.” 

“I wouldn’t be on my own. I’d be with Riku.” 

“You’re too young,” she insisted. 

“Mom… I’m not a normal teenager. Three years ago, I was out saving all the worlds from being destroyed! Last year, I battled in a war to save everyone from plunging into darkness.” 

“Well, if you had asked me, I would have told you _then_ that you weren’t old enough!” she snapped, slamming down her wooden spoon. 

“Mom…” He crossed over and took her hand. “Mom, please look at me.” She did, her sky-blue eyes wet as they looked up at him. The same exact colour as his own. “I’m not leaving again, going off into danger without knowing when or if I can come back. I’m going a few streets away—to stay with Riku.” He gave her a hand a squeeze. “He needs me there, Mom. And I want to be there with him.” 

She took a shaky breath and bowed her head. “Let’s sit down and talk about this. 

~Λ~ 

If Riku had expected anything, a few hours after Sora and Kairi had ‘walked home together’, it had been the brunet busting into his house to tell him excitedly how they were _finally together_. 

What he could not have predicted was opening his front door to see Sora and his mother there with bags full of stuff. Sora’s eyes pleaded with him to _‘just go with it’_ and promised an explanation later. 

He just opened the door wide for them to come in. “I’ve just cleared space in the study, where you can put all the stuff.” 

Sora’s mother fussed. She filled the sparse kitchen with home cooked meals, and scolded Sora that he would have to do his own chores. “And no putting Riku out of his bed before we get yours in! You’ll have to put up with the couch!” 

They agreed to that, but shared a look. But they both knew they’d end up sharing the bed. Like they had been doing for the past few months. 

When she finally left, Riku turned to Sora and silently raised his eyebrows. 

Sora gave him a sheepish grin. “Um… I’m moving in?” 

“And you didn’t think to ask first?” 

“Well…” Sora sighed and looked down at his feet. “I talked to Kairi earlier. Or really, I listened while she yelled at me for putting you in danger.” 

“Oh.” So they hadn’t gone off to…? She’s only gone and told _Sora_ all they’d been arguing about for months. “And that made you decide to become my roommate?” 

“Riku…” Sora said, stepping closer to him. “I need you. But I won’t hurt you while you help me. You use up too much power when I’m at my Mom’s house—but if I’m here with you all the time, it won’t get so bad.” 

He just groaned and covered his eyes. “I’m too tired to yell at you right now.” 

“See!” the brunet said victoriously. “You’re just proving my point!” 

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s heat up the food your mother brought and eat dinner.” 

He suspected Sora was grinning at his back as they went. He didn’t need to look behind him to see that. 


	5. Breaking Point

Sora was the worst roommate. He ate everything in sight. He left his clothes, books, pens, games _everything_ strewn about the floor of their room and seemed confused every time Riku asked him to clean them up. He put his dirty socks and underwear into Riku’s laundry basket so he doesn’t have to clean them himself. He sung in the shower, loudly. He let himself in to any room he likes, no matter what Riku was doing, just to tell him the thought that popped in his head that _needs_ to be shared. He invited Kairi over every day, and their other friends every so often, without checking if Riku is okay with it. He snored, clung to Riku like a limpet on the post of a dock, and woke up absurdly early every morning. 

Riku wouldn’t change anything for the world. He was _happy_ , for what feels like the first time in years. Sora was there, with him, they were together. At almost any given point, he could turn his head and see the brunet nearby—doing whatever, but _there_. 

Sora’s nightmares settled down. He got them only a few times a week now, instead of every other night—unless there are storms, in which case they were as bad as ever. 

Riku was content to think they could all keep going on exactly how they are. He ignored the restless doubt, the part that knows something was going to change. That they couldn’t just keep going on the edge, that one day something was going to tip something over. 

One last hurricane tied off the season. One of the worst in years. The island’s electric lines were broken, and it might be months before they were all back up and running again. A paopu tree, from who knows where, smashed through their bedroom window and took out half of the wall with it. Sora’s mother freaked out, and dragged him home ‘ _until the house is back in liveable condition_ ’. 

Riku’s dad was a boat maker, making fishing boats and repairs for the island. They’d always been a little estranged from one another. Riku had been always close to his mother, and their little family had been devastated when he was nine and she died. He’d done his best to raise his young son, but… 

Well. When Riku had come back from the End of the World with Sora, the only thing his father had said was: “ _I thought you’d taken that poor excuse for a raft and left for good_.” 

When Riku asked him to help rebuild the wall of his house, he’d expected to be rebuffed. Instead he agreed, coming by to help every day he could spare. They used the wood from the paopu tree that had done the damage. It was hard, gruelling work—paopu was one of the most unforgiving to work with, but he did his best. 

By the time the weather had gone from suffocating humid to roasting hot, they stood back to admire their finished work. 

“You probably ought to finish it off. Match with the rest of house.” 

Riku just shrugged indifferently. “Why fix what’s not broken? Just because it doesn’t look pretty, doesn’t mean it won’t work.” 

His father gave him a long look. “You know, son…” He paused, then seemed to force himself to go on. “You and me… we worked well together doing this.” Another awkward pause. “If you wanted to come work for your old man, I could use an apprentice.” 

He made an involuntary noise, shocked by the offer. He could only stare, words sticking somewhere between his brain and his tongue. He blinked a few times, watching his father get more and more uncomfortable. 

“Look, you don’t have to answer. Now, or later.” He gave an awkward shrug again. “But you’re finished school now. And it’s good, honest work. That you’re good at.” He nodded towards the house repairs. “It’s not saving the world or anything. But maybe you don’t want that anymore.” 

“…what happened to your old apprentice?” Riku asked uncertainly. 

“He married this pretty girl from the mainland and shipped off to put down roots.” 

“Well, what if I do that?” 

His father’s watery grey eyes slid past Riku, to the pathway from the gate. “Somehow I doubt that.” 

Riku looked over his shoulder to see what had caught his eye, and smiled slightly when he saw Sora clambering over the fence. Instead of passing through the gate like any normal person would. 

“So, if you’d like. Come by the workshop sometime. I’ll teach you the tricks of the trade.” 

Riku nodded. “…thanks, Dad.” 

“Well. Get some sleep, son. You look dead on your feet.” His father left rather quickly, exchanging greetings with Sora as they passed on the path. 

“Hey, you finished it!” Sora said, coming to stand next to Riku and looked at the wall. “Looks good! Better than that raft you made anyway!” 

Riku rolled his eyes. “ _We_ made.” 

“It was mostly you.” 

He snorted. “Yes, Sora. It’s done. No glass yet, but I’ve got the storm shutters up and mosquito netting hung inside.” Sora nodded happily, but he seemed sort of distracted. “So… are you coming home tonight then?” 

The brunet shifted, and gave Riku a quick glance. “Uh…” A pink blush crossed over his cheeks. “Well… uh. Mom invited Kairi over for dinner,” he explained carefully. “Then we were gonna go watch out for turtles coming up to nest.” 

“Ah.” Riku looked away, inspecting the house for flaws again. “Well. Tell them I say hi.” 

“…you’re not mad, are you Riku?” 

“Of course not,” he reassured. “It would’ve been nice to get some proper sleep. But it’s fine. Tomorrow I guess? Have fun with Kairi. Protect the baby turtles from predators.” 

Sora settled him with a confused look. “Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Just tired,” he dismissed. “I have to go get some groceries first. Then I’ll probably get some sleep while you two are out. Have fun with Kairi.” 

“…you already said that part.” 

“Right. Sorry. Tired.” He rubbed a hand across his face, his exhaustion washing over him in waves. Sora hadn’t had a good night’s sleep since the hurricane—he’d been catching what sleep he could here and there, but with rebuilding the house during the day he hadn’t had all that much spare time. 

When he lowered his hand, Sora was still giving him that confused, concerned look. So he reached over and messed up the soft, brown spikes. “See you in your dreams, Sora.” 

Sora apparently decided he was well enough to leave alone, because he left to go off with Kairi. He dug out some of the munny he had, counting through it carefully and calculating what he would need with Sora back home. Too much. But he had enough munny for it, luckily. 

He trudged through the streets in the pink light of the growing twilight. He hadn’t meant to leave it so late. Where had the rest of the day gone? His feet led him where they knew to go, and he only came to a stop when a pair of shiny black shoes appeared in his vision. 

“You know, I’ve seen corpses fresher than you.” 

“Axel!” he cried, surprised. The fiery redhead just rolled his eyes, didn’t bother to correct him. “What are you doing here?” 

“King’s been worried about you,” Lea drawled, in that particular accent of his. “Volunteered to come by and check on everyone’s favourite heroes.” 

“Sora and Kairi are going to protect baby turtle eggs,” Riku answered helpfully. 

“Well, that’s…” The other fell silent, staring at him. “When did you last sleep?” 

Riku just shrugged, not knowing how to answer that question. He’d have to know what day it was to give a proper response. 

“…okay. How about you turn around and go home. Get some shut eye.” 

Riku shook his head. “Groceries.” 

“Well. Alright. But I’m coming with you. And if you pass out like a damsel in distress, I’m going to rub it in your face later, okay?” 

Riku just rolled his eyes. He couldn’t stop Lea from following him however, and filling the silence with all sorts of inane commentary. Judging him for his grocery basket, badgering him about why he bought this and that instead of those or these. At the counter, he gave the cashier a look – she gave a good natured roll of her eyes that clearly said ‘ _Mainlanders. What can you do?’_. 

He didn’t know why, but he decided to walk along the beach back to his house. 

“Gotta hand it to you,” Lea was saying. “This world sure is beautiful. Maybe I should come by and visit more often.” 

Riku snorted. “You’re not staying with me.” 

“Don’t be like that.” He laughed. “Fine, fine. I’ll go stay with Sora.” 

“I just said you’re not staying with me.” 

A grin crossed Lea’s lips. “Ohoho,” he said. “You two finally decide to stop making googly eyes at each other and get together then?” 

“What? No.” He gave Lea a frown. “Axel. Sora isn’t gay.” 

“I don’t know if it’s that simple,” the redhead replied, rolling green eyes. Green like the grass. Strange. That’s what Kairi had said too. 

“We just live together,” Riku insisted. 

Lea waved a hand. “I give it a year.” 

Before Riku could come up with a response to that, his eyes caught. Standing on the old wooden dock, Sora and Kairi were standing close. Very close. Even as he watched, Sora leaned over and pressed his lips to Kairi’s. 

Why was it so hard to breathe all of a sudden? His head was spinning, a large bell tolling in his eyes. Like the tower in the City of Clocks. 

“Riku? What are you looking at?” 

Lea’s voice sounded distant, like he was underwater. Something was heavy on his arm. 

The tide was rushing out again, and he was tipping. Not backwards, now, but forward. He waited for the lights to swallow him, to drop him into Sora’s dreams. 

“Riku? _Riku_!” 

But the light didn’t take him. He fell and everything went black. 


	6. Lull

They hadn’t finished with the turtle eggs until way past midnight. Sora might’ve gone straight back home, but the house was already dark. He could spend another night at his mother’s, and say goodbye to her properly in the morning. He was gonna have another nightmare, no doubt about it – but Riku could handle one more night. 

He dressed in his pyjamas and settled himself in bed. It was daunting, staring up at the roof. The night was too quiet. Like he was alone in the world. He shivered and tugged the blanket up over his head. Squeezing his eyes shut, he took deep breaths. Calmed himself down, and letting himself drift off to sleep. 

He and Kairi and Riku were at the paopu tree on the play island. Riku was standing down on the ground, back pressed up against the tree. The setting sun bathed him in pink and orange, and he seemed to glow with it. 

The two of them were sat up on the trunk of the paopu tree. Even as he watched the sun sink down towards the horizon, he felt Kairi’s small, delicate hand slip into his. “Guys?” He said. Two sets of eyes, blue as the sea and one more green, turned to look at him. “Let’s always stay together. The three of us.” 

“Always,” Riku said, his voice low and calm. 

Kairi answered by turning his face and pressing a kiss onto his lips. He blushed, or at least felt like he needed to. He and Kairi had never kissed before, not out in the waking world. But who could blame him for dreaming? 

“Hey!” Riku’s voice interrupted, playful. “Aren’t you guys forgetting about me?” 

Kairi broke away with a little laugh. 

Sora turned to his best friend and grinned. “Who could forget about you?” He teased. Leaning down, he gave Riku the same kiss with a smile. 

Kairi’s giggling abruptly cut off. Confused, he turned to look what had caught her attention. But she was gone. “Huh…?” He turned back to Riku, to ask if he’d seen what happened to Kairi. But Riku had vanished as well. 

He jumped down from the trunk, looking around. “Guys? Hey! Guys! Where’d you go?” His voice echoed around the island, and he realised with a wave of fear that it was empty. No Tidus, Wakka, or Selphie even nearby. Where was everyone? “Guys?” He called again, his heart beginning to thump heavily. 

He turned around, but suddenly the ocean was gone. Replaced by an ebbing mass of glowing-eyed heartless. It pulled back, like a wave, and began to flow towards him. With a shout, he turned and ran. As if he could escape it on foot. 

“Riku,” he called. Even in the middle of a dream, he knew that if he called to Riku, his best friend would come to save him. 

…but he was usually faster than that. 

“Riku,” he called again, louder. The heartless reached him, little clawed hands grabbing at his feet and trying to trip him up or keep him still. 

His feet began to sink into the shadows, like quicksand. “Riku!” he shouted now, panicked. “Riku, where are you?” 

The heartless swarmed him, swallowing him up in the darkness. He screamed Riku’s name, desperately, before his mouth was flooded. 

He woke up screaming, jolting upwards in bed. He couldn’t catch his breath, his heart racing. He scrambled around, searching for his keyblade. 

“Sora?” His head jolted up at the sound of his mother’s voice in the doorway. “You were having a nightmare. You kept shouting for Riku…” 

He shuddered, stood up and grabbing his clothes. “I have to go. Something is wrong. I need to go.” 

“Sora, it’s the middle of the night,” she said. “Go back to sleep.” 

“I can’t,” he said. “I have to go home. Something is wrong.” 

She sighed. “I’ll check up on you tomorrow. Don’t you go waking up Riku if he’s asleep already! That boy always looks ready to drop.” 

Sora only waited long enough to change into proper clothes, and then he was racing out of there. Something was wrong. It had to be. Riku was always there to protect him. 

The door was bolted. Who would do that? He hammered his fist against the door. “Riku!” he shouted. “Riku! Riku!” 

The heavy sounds of the bolt sliding relaxed him, just a fraction. It opened outwards, and he stepped back to let it. He stopped quickly, then ended up gaping at the figure standing on the other side. “Lea?!” 

“Sora,” he sounded oddly subdued. “It’s late.” He stepped out of the way so Sora could step inside. “I didn’t think you’d be getting home until the morning,” he said through a yawn. 

Sora’s eyes skated across the room, taking in the details. The door to their bedroom was closed, firmly—Riku _never_ closed the door. The study door was open, and Sora could see the spare bed through the gap, sheets rumpled. Lea must’ve been sleeping in there. “What’s going on? Where’s Riku?” He demanded. 

“Well, he’s in the bedroom,” the redhead replied hesitantly, “but—” Sora didn’t wait for the rest of the answer. He pushed past him and went to the door, throwing it open. 

His eyes immediately locked on Riku in the bed. He was aglow by moonlight streaming through the net over the window. He almost looked ghostly pale, with his silvery hair and pale skin. He didn’t move at the commotion. He was lying flat on his back, head resting on the pillow, arms lying limp out beside him over the top of the blankets; breathing deep and steady. 

“Riku…?” Sora asked, approaching him carefully. His best friend didn’t stir. 

“He passed out,” Lea explained, leaning against the doorway. “He was acting all weird, staring at nothing, and then he just tipped forward. I brought him back here, and decided to just… leave him to it. Never seen anyone look so completely exhausted before.” 

Sora sat down on the edge of the mattress, picking up one of Riku’s hands to hold. “This is my fault,” he whispered, devastated by the thought. “I did this to him.” 

“…okay?” Lea said uncertainly. “Look, I’m going back to sleep. Do you want your bed back or are you gonna…?” 

“I’ll stay in here with Riku.” 

“Yeah, I thought you probably would.” He ran a hand through the messy spikes of his hair. “We’ll talk in the morning. You let him get some sleep. Got it memorized?” 

~Λ~ 

He woke up slowly. Hearing the voices first. 

Kairi was yelling. “This is **exactly** what I said was going to happen!” _What was_? “But do those two **blockheads** ever listen to me? No!” 

Lea replied, the tone of his voice unmistakeable, though he couldn’t hear the actual words being used. He was calm, conversational. Things couldn’t be too bad then. 

“There has to be something we can do!” 

Next, he could feel how _heavy_ his own body felt. Like he was made of stone. He tried to open his eyes, but they felt like they were gritted with sand. He groaned. 

“Riku?” A familiar voice whispered. 

He grunted in acknowledgement. That was Sora. Probably the warm spot tucked up at his side. Strange, that wasn’t how they usually slept. The brunet must have slipped in after he’d already gone to sleep last night. 

Last night. 

What had happened last night? 

He forced his eyes open, though it was a monumental task. Colours and light swum, but eventually settled into the picture of their bedroom ceiling. Sora’s head appeared in his vision, face tired and drawn. “You’re awake?” 

He glanced towards the door, eyes heavy. Why was it closed. “Who could sleep through that racket?” He asked, his voice rough with disuse. 

“You,” Sora replied. “There’s been a lot more yelling this morning.” 

He grunted, letting his eyes fall closed again. It was uncomfortable on his back. Gathering up his energy, little that he could muster, he turned onto his side more comfortably. Sora moved with him, and then ended up facing each other, one arm looped around each other’s waist. “Can we deal with it later?” He murmured. “I’m still tired.” 

“Yeah,” Sora said, in a soft voice Riku didn’t have a chance of understanding through his sleepy fog. “I’ll be right here with you, Riku.” 

He didn’t reply. He was already drifting off again. 


	7. If I Just Lay Here

When he woke up again, Sora was breathing quietly in his ear. The late-afternoon sunlight was spilling through the window. It was warm, and dim. He stayed where he was, an arm holding him tight around the middle. His back was to the window, and when the door opened his eyes could drift lazily towards it. 

Lea was giving him a curious look. He raised his free finger and pressed it to his lips, gently shushing him. “Sora’s still asleep,” he whispered. Peacefully, for once. 

“…alright,” Lea replied dubiously. “But when you’re both awake, we all gotta have a talk.” He left them alone again. 

Within half an hour, Sora had stirred. Sky-blue eyes opened, blearily settling on Riku’s face. A familiar smile broke over his expression, and the arm around his waist tightened. “You’re awake!” 

“I have been,” he replied. “I was waiting for you. Apparently Lea wants to yell at us some more.” 

Sora groaned, “five more minutes.” 

Riku laughed, ruffling his hair with a weak hand. “Take your time.” 

They lay in silence for a little while. Eventually, Sora took a deep breath and reached up to flick his ear. “I’m mad at you, you know?” 

Riku stared, mouth gaping. What was Sora mad about? What had he done? He must’ve passed out. Sora must’ve had a nightmare and he hadn’t woken up to come save him. His stomach twisted in guilt. “I’m sorry,” he said honestly. “I didn’t mean to… I should have been there to stop your nightmare. Forgive me?” 

Sora flicked his ear again, more painfully this time. “Not about that, you idiot!” 

“Ow,” Riku complained. “Then I don’t understand _why_ you’re angry.” 

He huffed and rolled his eyes. “Come on.” 

Riku didn’t want to leave the bed but he did reluctantly sit up. Together, they went out to the living room. Every footstep felt like too much effort, but he kept putting one after the other until he could sink into the cushions of the lounge. Sora sat down directly beside him, pressing their thighs together. 

Lea was leaning against a wall. _Why is he always leaning_? “Glad to see you two finally emerging from your lovenest.” 

Riku just rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Axel.” 

“I’m sure I would find you more threatening if you hadn’t _fainted into my arms_ last night,” Lea replied. “Kairi filled me in on what’s been happening. You’re both being irresponsible idiots.” He glared hard at Riku. “In the meantime, you need to start sleeping, if you didn’t get any the night before.” 

“In the meantime to what?” Sora asked, confused. 

“I’m taking Kairi with me, and we’re going to pay Yen Sid a little visit. Learn more about this Dream Eater thing.” He put his hands on his hips and glared at them both. “Until we get back, Riku you’re on bed rest. Sora, you better wait on him hand and foot. You owe him that much.” 

Sora saluted him, grinning. Riku just scowled and folded his arms. “You’re lucky I’m too tired to argue,” he muttered. 

“Well. We’ll all work on getting you back to fighting spirit.” He pointed at Riku. “You. Get some rest. Got it memorized?” 

Riku rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say, Axel.” 

Lea rolled his eyes right back at him. They were good friends. 

~v~ 

“It’s way too hot,” Riku complained. It was midday. Kairi and Lea had been gone for three days. He was starting to feel like his strength had recovered, but then the heat was so oppressive he didn’t feel like moving. 

At that moment, he was laying prone on the living room floor, trying to stay away from the hot air rolling through the windows. He’d tried to shower earlier but the pipes had spat out lukewarm water that did nothing to cool him down. He was wearing nothing but a pair of boxers, pressing himself to the ground to try and leech out any coolness they had left. 

He heard footsteps approaching him, and Sora settling into a sitting position beside him. An ice-cold finger suddenly touched his back, tracing a line up his spine and beginning to trace the pattern of his tattoo. He moaned in relief and turned to look at Sora. 

The brunet was grinning at him around the ice cream pop in his mouth. His other hand was holding out another, a few sticky drops already running down the shaft. “You’re a hero,” Riku groaned, reaching up to take it from him. 

“Phil-certified and everything,” Sora said smugly. 

“Mhm,” he mumbled, around the salty-sweet treat in his mouth. The ice-cold seemed to flood through the rest of his body in moments. He popped it out and looked across at Sora again. “I didn’t even know we had any of these left.” 

“We didn’t,” Sora replied. “I bought some this morning after the Blitzball game with Tidus and Wakka.” He moved his cold hand up, pressing it under his hair and against the sweaty skin of Riku’s neck, eliciting another grateful groan. “This is why you should cut your hair short again.” 

He grunted, mouth full of ice cream. He popped it back out. “Some of us didn’t get to play splash with their friends this morning. _Some_ of us are being mothered by bossy keyblade wielders with spiky hair.” 

“I’m sure Lea will be back soon,” Sora replied consolingly. 

“And what if he doesn’t have a solution?” Riku replied. 

“We’ll figure something out,” Sora replied. “I promise.” He laid back on the ground next to Riku, looking up at the ceiling. “We’ve faced bigger stuff than this.” 

He sighed, roving his tired eyes over Sora’s relaxed, face. “Yeah. I guess we have.” He groaned. “I just wish it wasn’t so damned hot.” 

“When the heat drops, I’ll take you down to the beach,” Sora promised. “A quick swim will cool you off. We just have to remember to get you back indoors before your skin burns.” 

Riku grunted, watching him. Sora had been around a lot more over the past few days. Whether it was because of the heat, or school being over, or wanting to be there in case he wanted his help, he couldn’t guess. He had been out a couple days, going to play games with their other friends, or buying groceries, but for the most time they’d been right here, together. It was nice. Riku craved Sora’s company, but even this much didn’t seem to be _too much_. He could probably spend every moment, waking and otherwise, with the brunet and never be satisfied. The thought scared him a little. 

“Do I have something on my face?” Sora asked. 

“Yeah. That stupid look.” He reached over and pushed at his face with a slight laugh. “I hope things never change.” 

“Not even the weather?” Sora asked with a teasing grin. 

“Okay. Maybe that.” 

The brunet laughed, turning his head slightly to look back at Riku. “We’re always going to be best friends, Riku. No matter what.” 

He couldn’t help the sinking feeling in his stomach at that comment. He looked away, turning onto his back to face the ceiling before he squeezed his eyes shut. “Yeah. Best friends forever.” Whatever made Sora happy. That would be enough. 


	8. Burned Hands Learn Fastest

“Riku!” A familiar, eager voice yelled out from the direction of the front door. “Are you awake?” 

“I’m in the kitchen,” he replied. 

Sora wandered in, glistening with sweat. “Still at those books?” 

He raised his eyebrows at his friend. “This is rather important.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

Lea and Kairi had returned a week after their departure, laden down with all sorts of books. Yen Sid, it seemed, had sent them on a wild goose chase after a certain tome, only to remember that he had lent it to Merlin years ago. Merlin had many more books on the subject of Dream Eaters, and had required their help with finding them all. 

In the end, Lea had dropped off Kairi and twenty or so books before heading off with a vague promise to return. Riku, never particularly studious, had been working slowly through the books—learning and trying to find something that could help them. 

Sora had given up trying to help him after a few hours. During the day, he went out—to hang out with Kairi or play Blitzball with some of the boys. He’d come home before dark, and pull Riku from his books to insist they spend some ‘fun’ time together. Once Sora went to sleep, Riku would read again until Sora called out to him in his dreams, or he fell asleep with a book in hand. 

“Hey, Sora?” Riku asked, that night when they were lying in bed together. 

“Hm?” 

“Do you want to go out to our island tomorrow? I’m feeling a lot more energetic. 

“Mm.” Sora shifted closer to him. “Maybe. I’m supposed to go see Kairi in the morning.” 

“After lunch then? If it’s not too hot?” 

“We’ll see." Within a moment, Sora was snoring. He didn’t have a nightmare that night, and when Riku woke up in the morning he was long gone. 

He left a note on the front door, telling Sora that he had gone over to the island to wait for him. He took some of the books to read, if the wait went on too long, but his first task was assessing the damage on the island. 

The wooden structures close to the rocky formations of the island were generally intact, though there was a lot of repair work to be done before he’d really classify them as ‘safe’. But the docks and the free-standing structures were in ruins. The ladder to the paopu island was still there, but the bridge was not only a few support beams rising up from the water. 

He waded out to it anyway, books held over his head to keep them dry. It was the first place Sora would come to look for him, he knew that much. 

At sunset, he gave up waiting. He didn’t want to be out when it was dark. He crossed the island, rowed back across the bay, tied up the beat-up rowboat and trudged back home, books heavy in his arms. 

The note hung exactly where he’s left it on the door. Angry, he tore it off and scrunched it up, shoving it deep in his pocket. Sora had probably never come home to see it. He tried not to get angry—Sora had been spending the day with his Most Important Person. It was no wonder he had forgotten about his best friend. 

He had a shower, cold, hissing at the water on his pink, tender skin. There was an aloe plant in the backyard, from which he broke off a frond to drain of sap. Liberally, he rubbed it into his arms, shoulders, neck and face. 

Halfway through, the door burst open to deposit Kairi and Sora, giggling, with their arms loaded up with wrapped parcels. 

“Hi Riku!” they called, not even looking in his direction. 

He gritted his teeth and didn’t answer, busy rubbing green goo into his skin. 

“…Riku?” Sora asked, hesitantly. Putting down his load and turning to look properly at his friend, he hissed through his teeth in sympathetic pain. “Yikes. What happened to you?” 

He fixed the brunet with a look that spoke volumes about how stupid that question was. “Got sunburned.” 

Sora cringed. “Yeah obviously. I meant _how_?” 

“Probably sitting in the sun for too long.” He clenched his jaw and looked away from them both, coating his skin with deep concentration. 

There was a long, awkward pause, and then Sora and Kairi went back to their easy chatter. Ignoring his bad mood until it went away, like they always had. He didn’t know why that pissed him off so much tonight. 

He stood up silently, went to the bedroom and closed the door firmly—he didn’t slam it. He planned on putting on a shirt and heading back out there to keep reading, but suddenly he didn’t want to. Instead he lay down on the bed and stewed in his anger. 

Eventually, Kairi left, and the bedroom door slowly opened. Riku didn’t move. Sora’s footsteps were tentative as he padded across the room, rustling as quietly as possible to remove his clothes and get into his summer pyjamas. He paused at the bed, hesitating. “Can I…?” 

Riku lifted up the sheet silently to usher him in. Sora gave a sigh of relief and joined him, careful not to brush his burned skin as he climbed over to settle into their usual sleeping positions. 

“Kairi said goodnight.” 

He only scowled, closing his eyes tightly and refusing to answer. Sora sighed again and settled down. “Traverse Town. Wonderland. Deep Jungle. Olympus Coliseum.” He fell asleep before Beast’s Castle, in that peculiar order of his. 

Riku was too angry and unresolved to sleep. Just when he was thinking of getting up to get some reading done, Sora’s breath began to quicken. A nightmare. He opened his eyes to watch, and wait for Sora to call out for him. Sora’s breathing was harsh, he twitched and struggled, whimpers of fear catching in his throat. 

His eyes narrowed dangerously. Sora was refusing him—purposefully. A week ago, there might’ve been nothing he could do. But he was better informed now. 

He reached out, carefully turning Sora’s head towards him. He pressed their foreheads together, taking a deep breath to concentrate, imagined unlocking a keyhole to Sora’s mind. He felt the same familiar falling sensation, and when it stopped, he opened his eyes. 

It was Xehanort again tonight. Or maybe **him** when he was taken over. Sora was struggling, screaming, beating at the heartless to try and get them to let go. “Stop it!” he screamed. “Let me go.” 

Riku’s temper burned. His keyblade was in his hand before he thought about it. The heartless and the somebody controlling it shredded like wet paper under the teeth of his weapon. Once they were gone, he breathed hard. His back was to Sora and he could hear the other picking himself up slowly. 

“…Riku?” 

“You didn’t call for me,” he accused, not turning to look at him, “on purpose.” 

“I didn’t want to bother you.” 

“And you didn’t think refusing to call for me so I could fulfil my **purpose** wouldn’t bother me?” He snapped. “You think it doesn’t **hurt** me that you’d rather suffer than do the only thing I’m **good** for?” 

“You were **mad** at me! I didn’t think you’d want to help!” 

“Because you **left** me!” Riku roared, whirling around to face him. “I burned to a crisp waiting for you on our island when you had no intentions of showing up! You were too busy on the Mainland shopping with your girlfriend! Never mind your best friend waiting for you!” 

Sora was silent in the wake of his verbal onslaught. After a long pause, he weakly managed out: “Kairi’s not my girlfriend…” 

Riku gave him a scathing look at that. _Really? That’s all you have to say about that?_ He turned away, the castle around them vanishing—turning into the cavern under Traverse Town. 

“ _Sora!_ ” Kairi’s voice called eagerly, already part of the dream. 

He began to walk away, intent on leaving Sora to his dream with his dream girl. He didn’t make it two steps, however, before Sora clenched tightly at his hand. “Riku don’t! Don’t leave me. Not like this!” 

The weight of him grew heavier, and when he glanced back to look, Sora was collapsing onto his knees, clinging to him for dear life. It was so familiar it hurt. 

“C’mon Sora,” he said weakly, “you’ve got to pull yourself together.” 

A low sob came from Sora. “Don’t… Don’t.” 

Riku sighed. He turned around, letting him keep the hand he was clinging to so desperately. He knelt, using his free arm to hold the other close. Sora melted into him, releasing the hand to clutch at him with both arms. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Sora. I’m just waking up.” He raised a hand up, burying his fingers in the soft, brown spikes. “Don’t do this again, okay? Don’t hide your nightmares from me.” 

“Okay,” Sora whispered. “Okay I won’t. Just don’t leave me alone.” 

“You’re not alone. I promise.” 

~v~ 

Sora was already awake when he stirred the next morning. Fingers were gently tracing the tattoo on his back. The burnt skin felt hot and tight, but Sora’s arm was carefully placed so as to not touch any pink skin. He opened his eyes, face already turned toward the brunet, watching him slowly come into focus. The light was dim, the storm shutters pulled to so as to keep the morning sun from touching Riku’s already burnt skin. 

“It’s that’s fault, you know,” he told Sora tiredly. 

“What? Your tattoo?” 

“Mhm. Human Dream Eaters in the past have worn medallions. Ones they could take off when they needed time to recover. It’s part of me now. No Vacation Days for me.” He’d said it light and teasing, but Sora didn’t laugh. 

His fingers kept tracing the pattern, round and around each loop endlessly. “Kairi showed me hers, you know. The Thalassa shell charm.” 

“On her shoulder-blade, right? Yeah. We went there together.” Hers had been finished significantly faster than his, but she’d stayed with him. 

“Maybe I should get one done. Like you guys.” 

“Sora. You would cry as soon as they put the needle gun on.” 

“…yeah. You’re right.” He sounded really disappointed about it. His palm flattened somewhere in the middle of the tattoo. Probably right in the middle of the heart, judging by the feel of it. “If I got one like this, would I become a Dream Eater too?” 

“…maybe for Kairi.” Riku turned his face down and started to push himself up. He grunted in pain at the pull of his skin. “I need to treat my burn again.” 

Sora’s hand pushed him back down. “Stay here. I’ll go get a fresh cutting.” He carefully climbed over him and left the room. 

Riku shifted so he was lying prone in the middle of the bed, closing his eyes and drifting off into a half-sleeping state. Vaguely, he heard Sora’s footsteps as he returned into the room. But it didn’t register until he felt a cool dollop of sap land on his shoulder. He hissed a cry of surprise, arching up reflexively. 

“Sorry!” Sora said hurriedly. “I thought you’d gone back to sleep. I was just going to take care of it for you.” 

“It’s fine. I just didn’t… wasn’t expecting it, I mean.” He started to sit up again, but Sora coaxed him to stay put. “Hm. Okay.” Gentle hands smoothed the cooling sap into his hot, itching skin. He relaxed into it enough that it took him a good few moments to notice Sora’s hands weren’t where they should be. “Sora. I don’t think my tattoo got sunburned,” he said, amused. 

“Sorry.” He didn’t sound sorry at all. “Turn over. I’ve done all I can to your back side.” 

He snorted. “ _Phrasing_ , Sora.” As if rubbing gel into his naked back wasn’t bad enough. He shifted, sitting up and letting the sheets pool in his lap. “It’s mostly my face from here.” 

“Except under your fringe.” Sora pushed it out of his face, the remaining sap on his hands sticking it in place. He carefully eased the bridge of his nose and cheeks. “Alright. All this reading, you must’ve come up with something to help.” 

“There isn’t. Not really. Some stuff, but I don’t think it’d help us.” 

“Like what?” Sora asked, fingers pausing on his jaw. Riku kept his eyes anywhere but the oblivious face and sky-blue eyes. “Come on. It might help to tell me anyway.” 

He swallowed. “Well. There’s a more… literal sort of… Dream Eating.” He shook his head, fringe unsticking and falling back into his eyes. “Or rather like. Dream Inhaling.” His hands clenched in the sheet. “I’d have to… breathe in your nightmare; and then breathe a good one in to you to replace it.” 

Sora tilted his head, one hand holding his chin while the other rubbed aloe into the skin of his neck with the lightest touch. “So? That doesn’t sound so bad.” 

Riku cleared his throat, awkward. “There can’t be… any part of the dream that escapes. Or it’ll low back into you, worse than before.” 

“So…?” Sora asked, confused. 

There had been illustrations. “I’d… we…” He could feel his face flushing, hoped that the burnt skin would hide it. “It’d be a kiss. Basically. A deep one.” 

“Oh.” 

Sora’s fingers had paused. “So now you know, why I wasn’t going to bring it up. Unless there was nothing else.” 

“Not really,” the brunet answered. “Would it be so bad about kissing me?” 

“Just for the dream?” He asked, a knot clenching in his stomach. “Yes.” 

Sora gave him a long, silent look. “We’ll keep looking then.” 

He scoffed at that, ruffling Sora’s hair. “Yeah. Sure. ‘ _We_ ’.” 


	9. Questioning Why

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a paragraph of text missing from this chapter I didn't realise. I fixed that up now.

Three weeks later, Riku closed the last of the books and quietly laid his head down on the kitchen table. Lea, dressed in the usual attire despite the sweltering heat, looked up from a book he’d already read. Last week he’d come by to bring the books to give back to Merlin, surprised that he hadn’t already finished with them. So he’d stayed, being appreciative of the hot weather—but then he **was** living flame. 

“You can’t tell me that all of these books and you didn’t come up with a single answer?” he redhead asked dubiously. 

“Well. There is one,” he said sourly. 

“You mean **all this time** you had an option? What was I hanging around for?” 

“The weather,” Sora replied, just entering the kitchen, “and my mother’s cooking.” He was shirtless, skin richly tanned and dotted with drying water. “What’s going on?” 

Before Lea could say anything, Riku asked: “how was Blitzball?” 

“It was good!” Sora replied, grinning. “I was on Wakka’s team, and we beat Tidus’. Loser had to buy ice cream.” He sat down. “But what’s going on?” 

_Damn._

“Riku here has just finished the last book in the collection,” Lea replied. “But apparently he already **had** a solution. So, fess up!” 

Sora turned his head, eyes locking with Riku’s, his head still resting on the table. “So. It’s the only solution?” 

“Uh-huh.” 

Sora’s fingers traced patterns on the table. “Right. We’ll talk later okay?” He pulled a face at Lea. “In private!” 

“Got it memorized, Axel?” Riku teased. 

Lea rolled his eyes slightly. “I can take a hint. I’ve gotta take these books back to Merlin anyway. I’ll be back though.” He looked at them both seriously. “Check in on you. Make sure you’re all up to shape.” 

Riku helped him gather up the books and carried a few out of the house. Once they were all packed up, the redhead turned and fixed him with a concerned look. "Riku," he said. "This... solution. It's not going to put anyone in danger, is it?" 

Riku gave a bitter smile. “Not unless you count my heart.” Emerald green eyes went wide with panic at that. “No! Not like that! I only meant my feelings.” 

Lea sighed and gave him a long look. “Be careful, okay? Sora isn’t the only one who gets a say in this, got it memorized?” 

He contemplated that as he walked back towards their house. Lea must have meant Kairi. If they were…kissing, even for the sake of Sora’s peace of mind, she was bound to be upset about it. The two of them were practically destined. He wouldn’t want to come between them for any reason. He decided, then—he wouldn’t let Sora agree to this until she’d been asked. 

It seemed his decision was moot. Kairi was leaving their house, just slipping her feet into her sandals. She gave him an easy smile and a thumbs up before starting down the path. 

“Kairi…” He called, panicked. “You’re not…? I mean, whatever makes him happy right?” 

“Don’t worry, Riku!” she said, smiling. “We’ve talked about it. It’s not going to change anything between us.” She petted his arm, then rose up on her toes to kiss the air beside his cheek. She was good like that. Showing her affection without crossing his boundaries. 

He smiled at her gratefully and headed indoors. Sora was inside, lighting some candles on the coffee table. “Did the power go out?” 

Sora whirled around, shaking out his match. “Oh! You’re back already.” He gave that easy-going wide grin. 

“I saw Kairi on the way in,” he said softly. “She said you two talked about the…solution we have. That it wouldn’t change anything between the two of you.” 

Sora tilted his head. “Well, of course it won’t. Kairi understands.” 

Riku sighed. “Okay. That’s…good.” He sunk into the lounge, watching the light of the candle flickering in the darkened room. “Well. I suppose if we’re agreeing to think, I… I guess I’m… asking you for permission. To kiss you. While you’re asleep.” 

Sora gave a low laugh and sat next to him. “Is that what you’re worried about?” He asked. 

Riku ducked his head, letting his fringe fall in front of his eyes. “It’s…important to me.” 

“I know.” 

He felt fingers under his chin, tilting his face up. He flickered his eyes to meet Sora’s, but they went wide as Sora pressed their lips together. Soft, but not hesitant. It lingered, a moment, and then Sora pulled back with a grin. 

“There!” he said happily. “Then our first kiss isn’t because of a dream, right?” 

“…right.” His heart was thumping, body awash with confusion. Sora had kissed him. Actually kissed him. Was this because he had said that thing weeks ago about it being just for a dream. “…was that permission? I don’t…” Understand. He didn’t understand what was going on. 

Sora gave another easy-going, carefree laugh. “Yes, Riku. You can kiss me in my sleep.” 

~v~ 

Weeks passed. Sora’s dreams were rare. But when they happened, Sora would call for him—but instead of needing to dive into the dream, he would just wake up. Lean into him and take care of the dream for him. He tried not to think too hard on the details of how exactly he did that. 

But he knew things now. He knew how Sora tasted, the feel of their lips joined together, and the lightning it shot down his spine. 

Sora… kept giving him strange looks. Ones he couldn’t understand. He left like usual during the day, to spend time with Kairi or the other guys. Came home before sunset to spend the evening with Riku together in their home. 

On his part, Riku finally had the energy to do things himself. He went to his dad’s workshop, finally, and started an apprenticeship. Of sorts. There wasn’t too much work, but he learned some handy things. On other days, he haggled for wood, rowed it over the island to store in one of the shacks. He asked Sora, every few days or so, if he wanted to come over to the island—but the answer was always some variant of ‘no’. 

There was a peculiar feeling about the situation. If he looked at things a certain way, he had almost everything he ever wanted. More than he’d ever thought he could get. He had a home with Sora, saw him every day. They went to bed together every night, and woke up together. He could even kiss him, sort of… 

So why didn’t he feel happy? Why did his chest _ache_? Why was he so upset when Sora left him to go meet Kairi? 

He wasn’t Sora’s most important person. He wasn’t the girl Sora had giggled about marrying since the first time they’d met. 

Sora wasn’t gay. He couldn’t return Riku’s feelings in the same way. Simple and clean. 

He knew this. He had known this for years. 

So why was it hurting now that he had more than he knew he could have? 

Why? 

The questions tormented him. He needed answers. 

One afternoon he returned home, tired from rowing back and forth across the island with the salvage of a wrecked ship. (He had enough now, he thought, to fix most of the island up. He just needed the help). He paused with the front door cracked open. 

“Am I really bad at kissing or something?” Sora was bemoaning. 

Kairi giggled in answer. “It’s not that. I promise.” 

“I mean, do you _like_ kissing me?” He pressed. 

“I do. Very much.” 

“Am I being _greedy_ then, Kairi? I want **more**. How else can I—?” 

Riku didn’t want to hear any more of the details. He jiggled the handle loudly and let the door squeak as he opened it the rest of the way. “Sora? You home?” 

“Riku!” He didn’t **sound** like he was annoyed about being interrupted during a serious talk with his girlfriend. “There you are! I was wondering how far away you were!” 

“Right here. Hi Kairi.” 

“Evening Riku,” she replied, smiling. “Did you hear about the wrecked ship?” 

“Yeah,” he replied. “I spent all day lugging parts over.” He headed to the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water and trying not to care about Sora and Kairi whispering with one another. “So, Kairi, are you staying for dinner?” 

“No thank you,” she replied. “I’ve got dinner waiting at home. I should probably get going actually. Sora? Will you walk me home?” 

He probably shouldn’t have been straining to listen, but he did: 

“Maybe I was wrong about Riku.” 

Kairi giggled. “You’re not wrong.” 


	10. Is This What You Wanted?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very slight dub-con kissing warning in this chapter. Not all that bad but I felt like it warranted a warning when I was writing it. Detailed warning at the bottom of the chapter.

Sora stretched out his arms, gave an exaggerated yawn. “Oh boy am I tired tonight.” 

Riku looked up from the puzzle pieces he’d been comparing, raising his eyebrows. “Is that so?” 

He got the feeling his best friend didn’t believe him. He grinned and nodded. “Yeah! It was a tough game of Blitzball!” 

“I thought you were supposed to take Selphie and Kairi to the art museum today?” 

He forgot that he told Riku about that. “Yeah. I did that after Blitzball!” 

Riku gave a sort of answering grunt, one he recognized to mean: ‘ _I know you’re lying, but I’m not going to press why._ ’ 

“Maybe we should go to bed,” he suggested. 

Riku set down the puzzle pieces with a sigh. “Fine. Go get in your pyjamas. I’ll close everything off.” 

He hurried off into the bedroom, changing quickly into his best pyjamas and lying down in the bed. He closed his eyes, not opening them once Riku was lying down next to him. He hoped he looked appealing—he knew Kairi was beautiful in the moonlight, and Riku became so ethereal it was impossible to touch him. Part of the reason he couldn’t open his eyes now. 

He kept quiet, in an effort to act normal, so Riku wouldn’t suspect anything. He worked on slowly deepening his breathing, like he was drifting off to sleep. But his heart was beating too fast for him to actually do that. 

He’d prepared carefully. Kairi had come over in the morning (she’d even brought them breakfast) and he’s asked: 

_“That practice we talked about,” he’d said, darting his eyes in Riku’s direction then back to Kairi. “Today?”_

_She had nodded. “Yeah. Today is fine.”_

_Riku had fixed them both with a suspicious look, but didn’t say anything._

The ‘practice’ had taken place at Kairi’s house. He laid in her bed, pretending to fall asleep and perfecting the little movements and small, scared whimpers until Kairi had agreed it was like he was having a nightmare. 

Now he put them into action. Riku shifted at the first noise, Sora could feel those intense eyes on him. He’d started on the harsh breaths, noises still stuck in his throat, when Riku shifted over to bring their lips together. Just quickly. 

There was a pause, a long tension. Was that it? It couldn’t be. The books had shown the kissing to be much deeper. 

He shifted again, gave another whimper. _Still having a nightmare here, Riku_! 

His best friend moved. Shifted so he was straddling over Sora on all fours. Hands moved, one settling under his shoulder. The other cupped the nape of his neck, shifting the angle of his head. 

Riku kissed him, and Sora had to suffocate the moan as sparks shot through him with the simple touch. But it deepened. Riku’s tongue brushed against his lips, and the jolt it sent through his body had his mouth falling open in a gasp. It was deep, it was intimate. Riku explored every inch of his mouth, mixing and sharing their breath. 

Sora forgot he was supposed to be sleeping. Eyes still closed, he groaned and wrapped his arm around Riku. One low around the small of his back, the other around his back, hand splaying over the fabric where he knew their symbol was inked into his skin. He kissed back, instead of passively taking it. A soft whimper from Riku’s throat vibrated against his hypersensitive lips. He almost laughed. 

A drop of warm, wet _something_ hit his cheek. A sweatdrop? 

Riku tore away then. His voice, when he spoke, was low with anger and betrayal: “is _this_ what you wanted?” 

Sora opened his eyes. The colour of Riku’s eyes were washed out in the moonlight. But he could still read the betrayal there. And see a glistening tear track under one eye—until Riku angrily swiped it away and sat up. “Riku, I…” 

“Don’t **use** me, Sora! You’re supposed to be my friend!” he snarled. 

“I…” 

“Just go to **sleep** , Sora! For real this time!” 

But neither of them slept that night. Riku sat, stiff and angry, at the end of the bed. Sora curled up on his side, watching the stars. Silently, they made the way until dawn. 

~Λ~ 

Riku was in a foul temper all day. Tired and still furious about the night’s event, he went to the island and broiled his anger by hammering planks of wood with strong, steel nails. 

“You’re a difficult man to find, y’know.” 

He glanced up to glare at Lea. “Axel.” 

“Sora couldn’t tell me where you were.” 

He nearly slammed the heavy hammer down on his thumb. “Don’t talk about him!” he snarled. 

Lea gave him a strange look. “…alright then.” He came to sit down next to Riku, picking up the jar of nails and handing them to him one by one. “I’m supposed to be here checking in on the Dream Eater situation.” 

“It’s going fine. The solution works perfectly. No more staying up all night battling Sora’s inner demons.” 

“Ah-huh,” Lea replied dubiously. “And I’m supposed to believe that you looking like you stayed up all night has nothing to do with Sora?” 

Riku tensed, hand clenching around the hammer until his knuckles went white with strain. “It’s got nothing to do with Sora’s _dreams_.” 

Lea’s eyebrows shot up. “What happened?” 

“Sora tricked me into kissing him.” 

“How do you _trick_ someone into that?” 

“The Dream Eater solution. I have to breathe in his nightmare and it involves a certain amount of open-mouthed lip contact. Last night, Sora pretended he was having a nightmare so I could kiss him. So he could have **practice.** For **Kairi**!” 

Lea looked at him worriedly. “That doesn’t sound like Sora.” 

“They talked about it at breakfast. Sora checked with her if today was a good day for him to **practice**! So he did! On me! He didn’t even **ask** me first!” 

“Riku. Riku! I think the nail is in.” 

He dropped the hammer, fists clenching on themselves. He looked at Lea, anger burning in his chest. 

The redhead’s eyes were wide, watching him. He exhaled something then, under his breath. Maybe it was ‘ _you’re right_ ’… or… ‘ _your eyes_ ’. 

Fear flooded through Riku’s chest and he dropped his gaze down to his tightly clenched fists. The anger, and the betrayal soaking through him; he hadn’t felt like this since… since it had opened him up to Xehanort’s darkness! He shoved it away, trying to trap it in his heart so it wouldn’t call to the darkness. What was he doing to himself? “I’m fine, Axel!” he said quickly. "It just really upset me. Sora can be so clueless sometimes.” 

He had to stop. He couldn’t feel these things. The keyblade war might be over, the χ-blade where it belonged; but he could still expose himself to the darkness. He was just as powerful as Xehanort had been, and knew almost as much. If he lost his heart to darkness, he could destroy all the worlds he was meant to protect. 

“Well. If you’re sure…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sora manipulates Riku into kissing him purposefully, and though Riku is the leading participant it is clear that he is upset by it.


	11. The Road to Dusk

They pretended it never happened. Their friendship was as close as ever. They spent all night together, enjoying each other’s company. Sora went out during the day with Kairi or his friends. Riku stopped asking him to come out to the island. He spent most days with his father in the workshop, learning not only the necessities but also the little additions that gave a vessel beauty in addition to function. 

He did all the repairs to the island he could easily manage on his own and shied away from the rest. He thought about asking his father to come help, and didn’t. He thought about asking Sora, but didn’t. 

The paopu sprouted fruit again. He held the little star-shaped fruit in his hand, sitting alone on their island. He remembered, finding one full and ripe and large, and playfully tossing it at Sora. He’d teased him then, about Sora wanting to try it. _With me? With Kairi._ And then the next day (the last day before everything went to hell) teasing and betting about it over a race. 

_“The paopu thing? It was just a joke. You should’ve seen your face!”_

Because he never **wanted** to share the paopu with Kairi, and in the vindictive way that made sense to him when he was still a kid, if **he** won, Sora couldn’t either. 

He looked at the little fruit in his hand. It was ripe, but still small. The first of the season. He thought about the carving on the wall where Sora had scratched himself feeding Kairi one on that very same day. 

( _Riku had seen it and maybe that had helped him open the door to darkness._ ) 

He took it back with him home. Got a little box leftover from Christmas and put it down on the crumpled paper. 

The older sister said Sora and Kairi were up in her room, and welcome him to go up there. “No...” he said softly. “Can you take it upstairs? Just make sure they know it’s to share.” 

She gave him a weird look, but took the box. As soon as it was out of his hands, he turned and left. It was rude, but he didn’t care. 

Something dark and painful was building in his chest. He went home, leaving his shoes by the front door. He kept his breath calm, focussed on opening his heart to take in the darkness. To turn it into light. That was what he did, right? 

He headed up to the bathroom, leaning down to wash his hands. He glanced up at the mirror and cried out in surprise. He jolted back, squeezing his eyes shut and refusing to believe it. For a moment, he had seen his own eyes—amber yellow like Xehanort. 

He opened his eyes, staring into the mirror. 

Back to normal. Blue-green. He took a shaky breath. 

The front door banged open. “Riku!” Sora’s voice called. “You home?” 

He hurried to turn the shower on, give himself some extra time. He didn’t want to hear Sora’s excitement about Kairi and the paopu. His heart couldn’t take it right then. 

~v~ 

Hurricane season came around again. Sora and Kairi went back to school, and they started growing impossibly closer together. Afternoons and evenings that used to belong to him now went to Kairi, or his friends, or his mother. Riku worked with his father, or he stayed at home, bracing for a storm that could break at any moment. 

The first storm came overnight. Sora was home, curled up with him, asleep in a dream Riku had fed to him. The house stood, the shutters rattled in place. Sora looked peaceful, a gentle smile on his face as he slumbered on. 

The next few days, they sat in the living room by candle light, collecting the wax and promising to be better prepared next time. 

The first night, as they settled down to sleep, Sora leaned up to pinch out the flame. Riku’s hand flashed out to grab his wrist. “Don’t.” 

Sora gave him a confused look. “But we should save it overnight.” 

“Don’t,” Riku repeated, softer now. His hand trembled on Sora’s wrist, but he ignored it. Sora gave him a long look, calm and understanding. Then, he lowered his hand and curled up with Riku. 

He shivered when he felt the brunet’s arms enfolding around him. “It’s alright,” he murmured. “There’s no need to be afraid of the darkness. Not anymore.” 

He clung to Sora, wishing he could believe the words, feeling the darkness fester in his heart even as they spoke. 

The first hurricane passed. Kairi and Sora went back to school. 

They both turned eighteen. Quietly, with encouragement from his best friend, they became an official couple. Riku didn’t see much difference. They kissed now, at almost every opportunity, and Sora called them ‘ _dates_ ’ instead of just hanging out together. 

Riku was happy for them. He truly, genuinely was. Sora was happy, at last, and that was all that mattered. Kairi was his friend too, and he was glad the two of them were together, and making each other happy. 

But he was also jealous, and spiteful about every moment took away from him to give to her. All that darkness was gathering in his heart, and he knew that there was too much for him to turn to light any more. 

Lea visited, but didn’t stay long. He congratulated Sora and Kairi with a laughing: “finally!”. Riku he repeatedly fixed with concerned looks and softly enquired “are you okay, buddy?” He could probably smell the darkness on him. As he prepared to leave, he asked: “do you want to come with me?” 

“No,” Riku insisted. “He needs me. I have to stay.” 

The redhead left. 

During the next hurricane, Sora gave him a nervous look. “Hey… Riku… I can ask you for advice, can’t I?” 

“Yeah,” he said confidently. 

“…about Kairi?” 

_Don’t use me,_ he had begged, Sora’s taste in his mouth and Riku’s heart in pieces at his feet. Still, he smirked lazily. “Duh. What else?” 

Sora shifted awkwardly. “Kairi and I…talked. And. Well.” 

“Spit it _out_ , Sora!” he teased. 

“We’re going to, you know, _do it._ Soon. We’re ready.” 

Pain throbbed through him. The darkness outside the pool of candlelight became deeper, blacker. Darkness flowed through his body. His eyes stung, and he turned his head away to hide the colour. 

“Congratulations,” he said. “So what exactly do you want from me?” 

“…well. It’s my first time. Do you have any advice?” Sora pressed. 

“Sora,” he said flatly. Feeling more under control, he turned his head to look back at him. “What makes you think I have any experience in this?” 

“Well… I mean…” Sora flushed. “Maybe not with _girls_ , but you…” 

“No,” he interrupted. He hadn’t even guessed Sora knew he was gay. “None,” he added, softer. 

“…oh.” Sora sounded… disappointed, maybe? He couldn’t tell. 

He sighed. There had never been anyone else for him. Just _S o r a._ That was never going to have gone anywhere, but still… no one else. 

“Okay, listen up,” he said, putting on his _wise and experienced_ voice. “You take it slow, lead up to _It._ If either of you says stop, then you **stop**. Tell each other what feels good and what doesn’t. There can be candles and music or whatever but that’s not important stuff. Hug each other and fall asleep together afterwards.” He paused, and then added: “oh, and buy new underwear.” 

“New underwear?” Sora echoed, lost. 

“I’ve seen the state of yours. You’re not going to impress **anyone** with them, let alone a princess like Kairi.” 

Sora laughed. 

That night, after Sora was settled in a nice dream, Riku bit his knuckles and refused to cry himself to sleep. If he couldn't meet his eyes the next morning, Sora didn’t say anything about it. 


	12. The Weight of Darkness

“…Sora? Are you packing a bag?” 

The brunet turned around with a grin. “Hey there, Riku!” he said. “Yeah, I’m taking some stuff over to Kairi’s.” 

“…oh.” He should’ve seen this coming. Sora had been spending more and more nights at Kairi’s. To the point where most mornings Riku woke up to Sora slipping in to shower and change his clothes. “Seems sensible. What have you done with Sora?” 

He laughed and continued stuffing clothes into his bag. “You just get home from work?” He asked. 

“Mm. Building a new trawler for that fishing company out in the mainland.” Riku replied. Not that Sora cared. “I don’t know why Kairi just doesn’t move in here. The mayor’s cooking can’t be _that_ good.” 

Sora shrugged. “We’re not ready for that step yet,” he admitted. 

“…right.” He could’ve said something about their spending every night together, as if Sora lived there already. 

“Have you seen my red shirt?” 

“I imagine it’s still screwed up on the floor of the bathroom where you left it last weekend,” he deadpanned. 

“You haven’t done laundry since then?” Sora groaned. 

“I’ve done _mine_ ,” he replied pointedly. 

Sora huffed. “You could’ve put my stuff in at the same time.” 

“I’m not doing your laundry for you,” he replied. “You’ll just have to spend more than ten minutes at home and do your own chores for once.” 

Sora paused then, turning back to look at him. “Hey… Riku. You’re okay with me spending so much time with Kairi, right?” 

He scoffed and turned away. “Why wouldn’t I be? _I’m_ not the one terrified of being left alone for five minutes,” he spat. 

The brunet gave a low gasp at that, as if surprised he’d actually said it. “Wow,” he said softly. “Thanks.” 

Riku rolled his eyes. Part of him knew that he was being unnecessarily harsh towards his supposed best friend. But he didn’t care anymore. “Be careful,” he warned. “Don’t go too far out. They’re saying there’s going to be one more before hurricane season ends.” 

He had that at least. Every time a bad storm, or a hurricane had hit their island, Sora had come home to him. He was still his comfort for that, the only one who could help him when the nightmares about it reared their head. 

Sora’s nightmares were rare now. If he had one when he spent time at Kairi’s, Riku could easily travel into the dream and fix things before letting him go with company. Like it had used to be with them together in the house before the solution. It wasn’t Riku’s company that he needed to keep his fear at bay then—it was just anyone. Sleeping next to Kairi clearly did the same. 

Or maybe he just wasn’t that scared of them anymore. Whatever the reason behind Sora’s nightmares, he might now be able to cope with. Soon Riku’s place as his Dream Eater would be obsolete. He’d go back to being nothing more than Sora’s best friend. 

If he was even still that. Sora never spent time with him anymore. 

Sora grinned at him. “I’ll stay safe, Riku. Don’t you worry about me.” 

“I always worry about you, Sora. That’s what I’m here for.” 

He got a strange look for that. He didn’t try to comprehend it. 

Sora left not long afterwards. He let the darkness he’d been keeping at bay back out. He couldn’t let Sora know—to see his eyes and figure out what was going on with him. He would be upset—and probably forced to defeat him so he couldn’t cause destruction to the worlds. Neither of them would want to have to face one another in battle again. The first time had been damaging enough. 

His eyes no doubt were glowing amber again. He shied away from any mirrors, not wanting to see what he had done to himself. Giving the darkness that much control over his form made it easier to cope with. Stopped it from changing him any further. 

He ended up putting Sora’s laundry on anyway. He’d made a point of saying something about it, at least. Besides which, he was bored. Clearly Sora wasn’t going to come home long enough to actually do it himself. 

The next day, the hurricane warning came. It would be there by sunset. _Plenty of time for Sora to get here safely._ He headed home from his dad’s workshop after helping him secure everything, then worked on securing his own house against the wind. He turned the lights on and settled down to wait for Sora to come home. 

The wind picked up. The lights cut off—the tell-tale sign that the mayoralty had declared the hurricane officially started. Sora hadn’t come home. Sora had never planned to. He sat in the darkness, no longer afraid. 

What could the darkness do to him that he hadn’t already done to himself? 

He waited. Sora would need him tonight. 

When the dream came, Sora yelled out to him, echoing in his mind. Already awake, he tipped straight into the drop. 

This dream was new. He was in a place he remembered vaguely as the inside of the mayor’s house, but the layout seemed different. Dream logic perhaps. He turned, to try and see what Sora might be facing… and came face to face with Xehanort’s Ansem. It took a moment for the rest of the mirror to come into focus. “Oh…” 

It was easier to take the reality of the dream, bend it to make dark fabric to drape around himself. He tugged the hood up, sealing himself inside. Like he had years ago to hide the shame of his darkness from Sora. Even more shameful than then, because he had given himself over to the darkness to help Sora, and now he had no excuse. 

He summoned his keyblade, Soul Eater—so Sora would recognise it was him. A second shout of his name had him going towards the door it came from. It opened on a bedroom, Kairi’s if he had to guess, but the wall had been torn off on a whirlwind of darkness. Sora was fighting a huge heartless with a wooden sword, as it tore apart the room piece by piece. 

Riku jumped into the fray, slashing at it with single minded determination. When it vanished with a roar, he turned back to Sora. Fixing the dream as he went. The waterfalls in Deep Jungle—not Hollow Bastion this time around. 

The brunet looked up at him in confusion, eyes travelling down to the keyblade. “Riku?” He asked uncertainly. 

“No,” he deadpanned, making sure his voice still sounded like himself and not his dark form. “Your other Dream Eater.” 

Sora hit him with a pillow for that. “It was just a question!” 

“You called for me Sora,” he replied. “Of course I was going to come.” 

“But… why are you dressed like that?” 

“It’s _your_ dream,” he replied. But he knew that wasn’t the answer. “You didn’t come home for the hurricane.” 

Sora tilted his head at him. “Well… no. I told you I was going to spend a few days at Kairi’s.” 

“I didn’t realise that’s what you meant,” Riku admitted. “You always spent them at home with me.” 

“Sorry.” That seemed to be all Sora was going to offer on the matter. 

“I’ll leave you to it,” he said, turning away. 

“Riku! Wait,” he said. “Are you mad at me?” 

He shook his head, enough the hood moved to Sora. “No. I have nothing be mad at you over.” There was a long, awkward pause between them, and then he left the dream. 

~v~ 

The next night, Sora’s dream was particularly difficult. Sora was fighting a crowd of Nobodies, and organisation members in their black coats. 

“Sora!” he called, to let him know he was there. But he was struggling. The dream wasn’t giving to his manipulations, but sometimes that happened during the storms. As much as he fought to get rid of them, with his control over the dream, and also the keyblade in his hand, more and more kept coming. “Sora! I’m trying!” 

“Riku!” Sora called out to him. “Riku where are you?” 

The voice that called out, however, was neither of them. Kairi’s voice, with a concerned “Sora!”. The dream shuddered, and crumbled. As Riku fell, Sora faded out. 

Kairi had woken him up. He hadn’t been able to help Sora, but she had. She’d woken him, and got rid of the dream, while he’d been struggling to even cope with containing it. 

“I’m just tired,” he murmured to himself. “That’s all.” Or maybe it was the fact that Sora wasn’t with him for the storm. 

It had nothing to do with his heart. It couldn’t be. He was Sora’s _Dream Eater_. He couldn’t become the nightmare. 

…right? 

It happened again the next night. Too many heartless, not fast enough or strong enough to cut through them and help end it so Sora could get a nice dream. Kairi had to physically shake Sora awake, and the dream crumbled just as Riku reached out to help a screaming Sora. 

And the next night. The cloak around him felt like lead as he fought against it to try and slash at the heartless. “Sora!” he yelled, panicked, as a huge, terrifying heartless picked him up in his claws. 

_What happens if you die in a dream?_

“Sora, I’m sorry!” He screamed, jumping but getting nowhere close to it. “ **Sora! You need to wake up**!” 

Kairi’s voice, when she called and shook Sora in the outside world, sounded frantic and scared. The dream world crumbled, but Riku could still feel claws digging into his skin even as he dropped out of it. 

He sat up, breathing hard and fast in the darkness. His hands shook as he lit a candle for the first time since the power had gone out. 

Sora had nearly died. Because of him. Because he had failed to protect him from his nightmares. What sort of Dream Eater was he? 

His first thought was to run to Sora, to try and protect him any way he could. But the wind howled, the rain smashed over and over again against the roof. The hurricane, the only thing causing Sora’s nightmares to be so harsh, was the one thing keeping them apart. 

He pressed himself against the front door, though the wind rocked it in its frame. Waited, exhausted, for the storm to pass. For the eye, at least, so he could go to Kairi’s house and at least see if he was fine. 

The eye, when it came, lasted two minutes. He’d barely gotten the door open before he’d had to seal it shut again. “Sora,” he whispered, fist clenching against the door. “I’m sorry I failed you.” 

The hurricane raged on. 

  



	13. Always One Step Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucky chapter thirteen. I hope you like a slice of angst with that.

“Sora,” Kairi said gently. They were lying in bed together, her soft body tucked easily in his arms. “Your nightmares are only getting worse.” 

He groaned and looked away from her. It wasn’t that he didn’t mind having serious conversations with her, but he didn’t like to talk about the dreams. “I know.” They’d been getting steadily worse for months and months. The last hurricane of the season had been the worst. Away from Riku, with the sounds of the wind and the rain in the background as he tried to sleep, the dreams had been bad enough that Riku couldn’t combat all his enemies to get through to him. Kairi had needed to wake him up. 

Even his dreams had made Riku at his worst. Trapped him inside the black organization coat, tall and broad like Xehanort. That hadn’t helped his fear, either. 

“Sora. You know I love having you here,” she said softly. 

“Uh-oh.” 

“Sora. Be serious with me for a minute,” she scolded. He sighed and gave her his full attention. “I think you should start spending some more nights with Riku.” She stroked her hand down his arm. “You know the other solution takes care of your nightmares, regardless of how bad they are. And I’m concerned about him. You know how exhausted he got before, he’s bound to be getting that bad now you’re making him do the same thing again.” 

“I know.” He sat up, reluctantly. Kairi tugged the blanket back over herself. “It’s hard,” he admitted. “I really messed things up with that kiss. Ever since then… he’s been different.” 

“Boys,” she muttered, rolling her eyes. “Sora. Did you ever actually talk to him about why you did that?” 

“I don’t think it’s just that,” he replied. “Something is going on with him. He won’t talk to me. Lately he’s been saying some horrible things—and when I try and ask if he’s okay he just brushes me off.” He rested his head on one hand and looked at her. “I haven’t even seen him since the hurricane. Every time I go over, he’s already gone out for the day.” 

“Sora,” she said, disapproving. “You’re making excuses for yourself and you know it.” 

He sighed. He rubbed his face and gave her a smile. “I am.” He rested his back against the carved bedhead. “It’s going to be really messy, isn’t it?” 

“Probably,” she replied. “But that’s your own fault for leaving it for so long. Riku has been dealing with this alone for months.” She pushed a lock of hair out of her face, eyes as blue as the colour of the sea watching him with a calm peace. “Don’t think I don’t know you haven’t been devoting so much time to _us_ because you’re afraid to talk to Riku.” 

He gave an awkward laugh. “What? Kairi of course I haven’t—” 

“Sora.” 

He sighed. “It’s not… I haven’t been _faking_ anything, Kairi.” 

“I know.” 

“I really love you.” 

“I know that too,” she said, smiling. “He doesn’t.” 

Sora gave her a confused look. “He’s my best friend. He knows me. He knows my feelings.” 

“You’ve told me very loudly that you’re not gay on multiple occasions,” she replied. “Look, Sora. Imagine how Riku feels. You kiss him, out of nowhere, and then you spend the next few months spending all of your free time with your girlfriend. You haven’t slept at home in _weeks_. Last time I kicked you out for the night, you chickened out and slept at your _Mom_ ’s house. Instead of going home to Riku.” 

“It was late,” he mumbled, “I didn’t want to wake him up.” 

“ _Sora_ ,” she said impatiently. “You need to go home and talk to Riku about your feelings. It’s too hot to share a bed with you anyway. I need my sleep.” 

He looked at her, quiet and hesitant. “I love you, Kairi. You’re my most important person.” 

“I _know_ , Sora,” she replied, with a tired smile. “Now go tell Riku that you love him.” 

~Λ~ 

She managed to kick him out of the house after all. He took a bag full of stuff—he could at least pretend he was going home to do laundry. It wouldn’t be so awkward then. 

He tried to plan out what he was going to say to Riku as he walked as slowly as possible towards their house. He hated this. He didn’t like having to plan what to say to someone. He usually let the words just fall out and deal with what they caused. He’d gotten through life like this and it had always helped him until now. 

But these days he felt like he had to walk on shells around Riku—any slip up with his words and Riku would be angry at him. Like Riku was always a breath away from blowing up and staying angry for days. 

The worst part was, he didn’t even know _why_. Riku had been the one to mark himself as his Dream Eater, had come up with the solution to how they would deal with his dreams. He’d been the one to encourage Sora to ask Kairi to be his girlfriend, who gave him advice on how to make love to her for the first time. _He’d given them a paopu fruit!_ He was only doing what Riku wanted him to do, and he didn’t know why his best friend was so angry with him. 

So _maybe_ he’d been avoiding Riku a little. He might’ve been spending more nights than necessary with Kairi. But he _liked_ being with Kairi and she didn’t mind having him around night after night—until the weather turned too hot, apparently. He might’ve only gone home at times he knew Riku should be with his father in the boat workshop. He had his own job helping out his grandmother and dad in the family shop, that kept him busy too! 

But Riku _had_ to know how he felt. He’d never tried to hide anything from his best friend. He stood at the footpath at the bottom of their house and took a deep breath. He would do this. He would sit down and have a conversation with Riku about what was going on. And even when his friend called him ‘ _a total sap_ ’, he wouldn’t let that scare him off. He marched down the path, determined. 

…the front door was bolted closed. “Huh?” He tried it again, jiggled the handle and shoved his weight against it. But it still didn’t move. He banged angrily on the door, yelling out Riku’s name repeatedly. Riku couldn’t lock him out of _his own house_! 

He didn’t stop, until he heard a frail old voice from the fence. “Sora.” He turned around, and headed over to their elderly neighbour. “Riku hasn’t been home in a little while,” she said, giving him a pitying look. “Maybe you should go talk to his father? He’ll have more answers for you.” 

He dropped his bag off at his mother’s house before he left to go look. She clucked her tongue in disapproval and promised not to do his laundry for him, but she would do it anyway. He knew her ways. 

His trip to the boat-maker’s workshop was much quicker than the journey from Kairi’s house. He must’ve been rushing, because the distance was further. His stomach was clenched, nervous. What was going on? Where was Riku? 

A sick sense of déjà vu was clawing at his chest. No matter how hard he tried to tell himself things were different, they weren’t as bad as _back then_ , he couldn’t fight the feeling off. Riku was in his dreams, in his black coat and wielding his old weapon. He had to _find him_. 

Riku’s father looked up as he entered the workshop, and though he looked concerned, he didn’t look particularly surprised. He put down his sanding tool and gave Sora a long look. “Was wondering how long it would take you to come see me.” 

He bowed politely. “Sir, I—” 

“Are looking for Riku.” He crossed over to one of the workbenches and started going through the drawers. “I locked up the house for him, didn’t think he’d want anything wandering in off the street while he was away.” 

“Away?” Sora asked, his heart giving a dull thunk. “Where’d he go?” 

Riku’s father gave him a brief look over his shoulder. “Don’t know,” he admitted. “Just said he was going. And he’d be back once he ‘ _found himself again_ ’. Apologised that he wouldn’t be around to help me for a while.” He straightened, a dirty envelope held in his hands. “Left this for you.” 

Sora hesitated, not wanting to step forward and grab it. That meant admitting that Riku had left. “Where was he going?” 

Riku’s father gave him an odd look. He realised he was repeating himself. “Off-world, I reckon,” he replied. “Had one of those long black coats on, like your friend with the red hair, when he stops by.” He gave Sora a look he couldn’t help think was disapproving. “He came to check on Riku before you.” That almost sounded accusing. 

Riku was walking around in his organization coat, and leaving to ‘ _find himself again_ ’. A sick, guilty feeling was knotting in his stomach. Something was happening to his friend and he’d been too busy dealing with his own guilt he hadn’t even noticed it had gotten that bad. 

“Take the letter, kid.” 

Sora did, sinking into a seat that might’ve been the broken hull of a boat. His hands shook as he opened it and slid out the short slip of card. 

_Sora,_

_I’m going. I have to. It’s not safe for anyone while I’m…_

_I’ll be better. I’ll get stronger._

_I’ll make sure I’m helping you with your dreams._

_I will come back. But I need time. Time to find my light again._

_If things get bad and you have to stop me, get the others and show no mercy._

_Take care of Kairi._

_—R._

“Oh no.” What was he going to do? Riku had lost himself to the darkness. He was telling them to _kill him_ if he started acting evil! He had to find him, had to talk some sense into him before he did anything stupid. He’d rip open his own heart and shove its light into Riku if he really needed to. He couldn’t _lose him_ now. Not after _everything_. 

He didn’t manage a goodbye or a thank you to Riku’s father. He was scrambling out of the workshop, feet pounding hard against the pavement. “ **Kairi! Kairi!** ” 


	14. Looking For Riku

Sora was anxious as he raised his fist. Kairi, behind him, nudged him forward with her fingertip. She’d been so much help over the past few weeks. He’d been out of his head, no clue where to start or what to do—she had been calm, and reassuring and decisive. They’d travelled to a few different worlds; ones they’d thought Riku might be drawn to. Nobody had seen or heard from him, and the few sightings of a man in a black coat had ended up being about Lea. 

He took a deep breath again, and knocked on the wooden door. 

There was muffled swearing behind it, and then it yanked open. “Squall, I swear to god if it’s heartless attacking the book again, I’ll—” Lea, half-dressed and obviously having just woken up, came to a stop and stared at them in his doorway. “…huh.” He pulled it open. “You guys better come inside.” 

Kairi made herself comfortable on one of the chairs, looking around the room as if to inspect the changes. He remembered, then, the days they had spent here helping Merlin sort out his books, with a spike of jealousy. He let it happen, and then pass. He trusted Kairi and Lea had never shown any sort of interest in her. 

He took a seat, rocking slightly on the back legs. Lea frowned at that. He propped himself up against the wall and looked at them both. “Well?” 

“We’re looking for Riku,” Kairi ventured, after it was clear Sora wasn’t going to start. “He left Sora a note several weeks ago.” 

“He was leaving to fight his own darkness,” he interrupted his girlfriend. “We have to help him.” 

Lea looked between them both. “I know.” Then he paused, as if waiting for them to go on. “Well? What are you doing out here?” 

“Riku’s father said that you’d stopped by to visit him,” she said, putting a hand on Sora’s arm and settling him properly in his seat. “We wondered if you had any luck trying to find him.” 

The redhead sighed, heavily, and rubbed a hand through the spikes at the back of his head. “Yeah. I found him.” 

Sora sat up so fast he nearly jolted out of his seat. “What? You did! Where is he?” He asked rapidly. Lea folded his arms over his chest, giving them a long look. The silence went on just a moment too long. “What? Why aren’t you saying anything?” 

“You of all people should know where to find him, Sora.” He regarded him with a long look. “He told me, y’know, when I left with the books. That the only thing he was putting at risk with the ‘solution’ was his own heart.” His eyes narrowed at Sora. “He said it _didn’t_ mean it would cause him go dark, but now look where we are.” 

“He told you that?” Sora asked quietly. Riku had really thought that kissing him would damage his heart? “Why would he…?” 

“I should’ve taken him with me,” Lea said, ignoring his question. “Last time I visited you guys. Knocking around some heartless would’ve but his head on straight. But he said _you_ needed him.” He gave them both a derisive look. “Now look how well that turned out.” 

“Lea,” Kairi said, in her soft soothing voice. “If you can tell us where Riku is, then we can get to work trying to make up for our past mistakes.” 

He turned his face away. “No,” he said. “If Sora doesn’t even know where Riku would’ve gone, then maybe it’s better he stays alone.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sora demanded. 

“It _means_ ,” he replied angrily, “that Riku doesn’t need someone who doesn’t understand him rushing in to make some heroic rescue.” He waved a hand at them dismissively. “Go back to your island and play happy couple. Forget about Riku. I hear you’re good at that.” 

Sora cried out angrily at that, but Lea was stomping out of his house and slamming the door closed. He was left stunned. He glanced at Kairi, but she was looking down at her toes. “…I didn’t forget about Riku.” 

“I know, Sora.” She gave him a pitying look. “I know you haven’t.” She got to her feet. “Come on. Let’s give Lea back his house.” 

“Where are we going now?” Sora asked, looking at her helplessly. 

“Home, Sora,” she replied, reaching to take his hand. “You need to have a think.” 

~Λ~ 

There was a familiar sound. Riku tilted his head towards it. “Axel. Didn’t think I’d see you again any time soon.” 

“Yeah, well.” There was an irritated huff as the redhead settled into the sand beside him. “Got a couple unwanted visitors. Needed to get out of the house for a little while.” 

“Let me guess,” he replied, his voice calm. “Kairi and her boyfriend?” 

He felt Lea’s eyes shifting to look at him, but he didn’t turn his head. “Yeah. He’s looking for you, you know. Travelling to the end of the system and back again to try and find you.” 

“Hm.” In, out. Breathing matching the endless flow of the tide. “So why didn’t you tell them where I was?” 

“It shouldn’t be this difficult for him to find you.” Lea said, shifting in the sand. 

“Sora never was the smartest.” He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, hood falling back. Sunlight lit his face. Not that it was his own. “You don’t have to protect me, Axel.” 

“It’s still weird seeing you like this,” the redhead replied. “After all this time. Just when you think that part of your life is over.” 

“Darkness and light are eternal,” Riku replied. “Once you’re touched by darkness, do you ever really recover?” Lea only grunted in answer to that. He chuckled, lowering his head back down. “I’m dealing with this, Lea. You don’t have to keep checking up on me.” 

“Well, someone’s got to.” A shift again, probably the redhead folding his arms over his chest. “We all care about you, Riku. Don’t wait around for Sora to come and fix you.” 

“I’m not,” Riku answered, surprised. “Is that what you think?” 

“What else are you doing _here_ then?” 

A smirk pulled at Riku’s lips. “I’m here to find my own light, Axel.” He moved a hand up, and tapped it against one of his temples. “Got it memorized?” 

The redhead scoffed, shifted in the sand again. “I still think letting you loose on the heartless is the solution,” he pointed out. “But if this is what you need, I support you.” 

“Careful,” Riku warned, smiling to himself. “You almost sounded like a friend.” 

“It’s this place, obviously. Turns everyone into a total sap.” 


	15. Somewhere Only We Know

The little rowboat knocked against the dock as Sora secured the rope around the belaying pin. 

“You sure you don’t want me to stay with you?” 

He shook his head, carefully climbing out of the boat. He shivered as he looked around the sandy island. Moments flashed before his eyes, and he tried to squeeze them out. The island vanishing bit-by-bit into the darkness in the sky on the first night of his destiny. The wreckage Xehanort made of it, when he fought his best friend’s possessed body. So many flashes of their sanctuary turned into a nightmare. 

“Sora?” 

“No… I’m fine, Kairi,” he said quietly. “Riku’s here. I’ll find him.” 

The very _shape_ of the island had changed. It’d been years since he’d come here, but the thought still unsettled him. It had been years, and the weather caused all sorts of trouble. But one part of him couldn’t help but think that all Xehanort and the heartless and the organization had done to the island had ruined it. 

Kairi gave a deep sigh, her fingers deftly undoing the knots he’d tied. “Alright. You know how to call me when you need me, Sora. Stay safe. Whatever he does, remember he’s still Riku.” 

He turned and gave her an easy smile. “I know,” he said, trying not to be aware that he knew she saw the strain around the edges of his expression. “Thanks. See you soon?” 

“Take as long as you need.” 

He watched her row away, his heart pounding in his chest. He wanted to scream after her, beg her to come back. He didn’t want to be alone. 

But he forced himself to take a deep breath, turning to look back at the island. The only place Riku felt peace―he remembered those words, but not where they’d come from. Had it been in a dream? They’d had so many of those together, but with the way dreams worked he couldn’t remember what had really happened after they’d ended. Only vague sensations. 

It took a lot of silent pep-talk to get him to walk off the dock and onto the beach to start exploring the rest of the island. He didn’t know why the shifting sand of the beach unsettled him so much. It was solid ground, he knew that, but feeling it slide underneath his shoes made his heart skip a beat or two. 

He headed across the beach to the paopu island first. The bridge was still in shambles, so he waded through the water to the ladder on the far side. It, too, had obviously seen some damage―but someone ( _R i k u_ ) had managed to patch it up. 

He hadn’t _really_ expected his best friend to be there, waiting by the tree, like he had been so many times. But he couldn’t help the sick twist of disappointment in his stomach when he saw that he truly wasn’t. He crossed over, feeling much too big for the little island. Or had it gotten smaller? 

He leaned his back against the trunk of the paopu palm, looking out at the sea stretched out towards the horizon. It was still morning now, but more often and not, Riku could be found sitting on the trunk, staring out at the sunset. 

_“Nothing’s changed, huh?”_

He remembered Riku’s voice, so clear and familiar it was almost like he was sitting beside him again. It felt like their last moment of peace―before things turned serious. Before he went from finding his friends to mastering the keyblade and fighting in a war that threatened to destroy everything. 

_“Nope. Nothing will.”_

But he’d been wrong. They had all changed, and who they were to each other was different. Not even their island was the same. 

_“At least the waves sound the same.”_

He gave a little smile. Riku had said the same thing, though he’d been talking about another place back then. He closed his eyes, let his thoughts go quiet as he listened to the gentle lullaby of the waves. 

Riku was right. This place was peaceful. In moments they had managed to get his fears to calm to a manageable level. He hoped it was helping Riku too. 

He stood from the trunk, turning back to the island. He jumped down, splashing into the water, and wading back to the beach. He looked up, looking over the scenery had changed. 

Like Selphie and Tidus had said, the place was wrecked by the storm again this year. But there were obvious signs of repair-work being done. Recent too, judging by the stacks of wood still waiting to be used. He wandered along the rebuilt pathways, silently searching for his best friend. 

The old stairway to the other side of the island was blocked off by debris, and the old hatch through the cliffs was bolted closed as well. He sighed, and rubbed at his face. He could swim around the island to get through to the other side, but he didn’t particularly want to risk getting caught in a rip tide. 

He climbed down the winding paths wrapped around the treehouse, until he reached the sandy ground by the waterfall. He turned towards the secret place―it was covered by an elaborately carved door. “Riku,” he murmured, reaching out to press his hand against the surface of the door. He’d been too cooped up in himself, and him and Kairi. He hadn’t noticed Riku had learned to make things like this. It was beautiful. 

The handle turned easily, and he stepped inside. The passage was darker than he remembered, but it was calming. This place was familiar. It hadn’t changed much. The walls were still scratched and carved with their childish designs. There was a small fire-pit built in the middle of the room under the holes in the roof. 

It was still burning low with embers, Riku must’ve been there this morning. He settled down to sit by the fire-pit, added a few more kindling twigs and a larger log to the pile. His best friend would be back soon. He had to. 

He hugged one knee to his chest, resting his chin on top. He watched the fire dance, throwing lights across the walls. A smile tugged at his lips as he spotted the old carvings he and Kairi had done with each other, the later additions of the paopu fruit. 

His eyes closed slowly, smile still settled on his face. He was asleep within minutes. 

~Λ~ 

Riku stepped back into the secret place, sighing in relief at the cool air. The island was hot enough, but the long black coat made it worse. He had to stop towards noon when the temperatures hit their warmest. 

He sealed the door shut behind him, shrouded it in darkness before walking down the tight hall to the cavern. That way no one could slip in when he was sleeping and vulnerable. He froze when he spotted the figure sitting by the fire-pit. 

He immediately took a step back, pressing back into the shadows. Sora had come then. Had he finally figured it out, or had he just annoyed Lea until the redhead had handed over the information. He wasn’t sure which option he wanted to be true. 

Reaching into his pocket, he slid out a long strip of black material. It wouldn’t do to scare Sora first thing. He tied the strip over his eyes, blocked the light from his vision. The darkness inside him receded—so he could at least talk to Sora with his own face. The darkness receded, crawling back into his heart. 

He stepped out, the hem of his coat sweeping the sand. He heard Sora’s breathing change, drifting closer to wakefulness. Kneeling beside him, he waited for the brunet to wake. It only took a few moments—it was the middle of the day after all; or perhaps Sora sensed the danger. 

“Riku!” He cried, his voice eager. So happy and relieved to see him. Before Riku could speak, there was a rush of movement. He suddenly found himself clutched in Sora’s arms, held tight. “Riku,” he said again, “you’re here.” 

There was a thick lump in his throat. He swallowed past it. “Sora.” He wanted, for the longest moment, to return the gesture. To wrap his arms around him and hold tight, never having to let go of him. But he restrained himself. His arms had moved up unconsciously, but he used them to move him away. He stood, turning his back to Sora. “You should go.” 

Sora’s feet scrabbled around in the sand as he got onto his feet as well. “Riku, I’m not leaving. I came here so I could help you.” 

“You’ve done enough,” he replied, his voice harsh. He moved toward the entrance, so he could unbind the door. But Sora’s hands grabbed the sleeve of his coat before he could get too far. 

“Riku. Please,” the other begged. “I want to help.” 

He swallowed and grit his teeth. His hands bunched into fists. “Go home,” he commanded angrily. Why wouldn’t Sora just _leave_? “I don’t **want** you here!” 

“I don’t believe you!” Sora answered stubbornly. “I think you need me. You’re just too big-headed to admit it!” 

“This isn’t about me being tough, Sora,” he said angrily. “You’re in danger every moment you’re here with me.” 

“I can take you!” 

“No you can’t.” 

Sora inhaled angrily, and spent a moment or two taking deep breaths to calm himself. “Say that to my face.” 

His shoulders tensed. He swallowed again. “My heart has gone to darkness, Sora. Until I can find my light, it’s not safe for anyone to be around me. Especially not you.” 

“I’ll be your light!” Sora declared. 

“Always the hero.” 

The brunet moved, shoes scuffing the sand as he came to stand in front of Riku. Probably with that same stubborn face on. “I mean it. I’ll be your light.” 

“You _were_ ,” he admitted, wincing when his voice cracked. “Look how that’s turned out. I need my own, Sora. I can’t rely on you forever.” 

“Yes you can!” Was that little noise Sora _actually_ stomping his foot? Like he was a child? “I’ll always be there for you, Riku.” 

“This is your last chance, Sora,” he said coolly. “Get out before I—” 

The words ‘ _make you_ ’ died on his tongue. Sora had leaned forward and clutched him tight again, rising in his toes to press their chests together. Sora’s heartbeat pressed against his own, a steady even pulse. He could practically feel its warmth and light, just on the other side. He could accept it so easily. 

“Sora,” he said, stubborn. 

“Look me in the eye and tell me you want me to go.” 

He tensed at the suggestion, and Sora definitely felt it. He pulled back a little, arms not releasing their hold. 

“Riku. Look at me.” 

He cringed and squeezed his eyes shut. “I can’t.” 

Sora’s arms released him, but he knew better than to believe the stubborn idiot was letting the matter drop. Within moments, he felt the hands moving his hood off his head and exposing his face to the light. 

“You…” Sora sounded lost for a moment. 

Then determined fingers reached up to tuck under the blindfold to pull it away. “Don’t,” he begged, his voice defeated. “Sora, please…” 

The brunet hesitated, then pulled the dark cloth away. 

Light stabbed into his eyes, and he felt his darkness rise up. Darkness always tried to consume the light. He could imagine clearly what Sora was seeing in that moment. His eyes bleeding into Xehanort’s sickly amber colour, body thickening, features twisting into the familiar visage of his hated enemy. 

With a cringe, he closed his eyes and turned away from Sora, ashamed. 

“…Riku.” 


	16. At Least the Waves Sound the Same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first 500 or so words of this chapter were really hard to get out, and probably suffered for it. My apologies. I've been sick over the past few days.

Riku was anxious. At every moment he felt like he should break away from Sora. He should run, or chase him off. Sora had seen the truth now. There was no more hiding it. 

"Riku?" Sora sounded more confused than frightened. 

He flinched. "I warned you," he said. "I told you not to. I didn't _want_ you to see me like this. Not again." 

There was a pause. Sora's hand cupped his cheek, turning his face until he was looking at Sora. His eyes met sky blue for just a moment before he had to slide his eyes away. He couldn't look Sora in the eye without his guilt and shame rising up to swallow him. 

"…Riku." Sora's voice was confused again. "What do you think I'm looking at?" 

What sort of question was that? "Ansem." 

He gave a quick, sharp sort of exhale. "Riku." His other hand moved to cup his face, holding it in place. "Riku look at me." 

It almost hurt to drag his eyes up and meet Sora's. Sky blue didn't waver, looking at him intensely. "I'm sorry." 

"Riku. I don't know what's going on in your head," he said in a soft, soothing voice. "But you're not Ansem. You're Riku." 

"I know." He knew who he was. "But the darkness." 

"No, Riku, you're not listening." He still watched him in determination. "You're not Ansem. You don't _look_ like Ansem. Your eyes are blue…well, blue-green. This is the face of my best friend." 

"But I…" He felt awash with confusion. What could Sora possibly mean? He was. he was consumed by darkness. He could feel the same mess of anger and jealousy and sadness consuming him. The same feelings he'd drowned in when he'd first given himself to Xehanort. "I'm… Lea said…" 

"What did Lea say?" Sora asked, a little irritated by that comment. 

He flinched, darting his eyes away. "He said… my eyes. And that it was hard to see me like this after all this time," he told the brunet. 

"Riku look at me," he repeated the request. Once he had, Sora continued: "Lea could've meant _anything_ about your eyes. And the other thing…well. Maybe he was talking about how upset you were. Or how you were dressed. Or fifty other things. Riku, I would _tell_ you if you'd been turning into Ansem." 

"As if you'd even notice!" he spat bitterly, breaking away from him. "This is the first time I've seen you in _months_! I could have been **dead** and you wouldn't have noticed." 

"Hey!" Sora said angrily. "I **know** I haven't spent any time with you lately—and by the way, I'm here to _fix that—_ but don't give me that!" 

"It's true!" Riku retaliated. 

"It's **not** true!" Sora snapped back. "When you were home, I checked up on you. All the time! I asked around and made sure you were okay." 

"Oh, is that supposed to make me feel better?" Riku sneered. "You can take time out of your day to talk to your friends to ask if I'm alive, but you can't be bothered to actually come see me!" 

"You've been mad at me!" Sora shouted. "You kept pushing me away and cutting me off! Shoving me towards Kairi!" 

"Because I was struggling with the darkness!" 

"I didn't **know** that! But I **do** now and I want to **help** you!" 

Riku turned away, bitterly muttering, "You've done _enough_." 

There was a long pause after that. 

"…you're saying I did this to you." 

"No!" Riku said quickly. His anger evaporated into a sick twist of guilt, and he turned back to look at Sora. "No! That's not what I'm saying." He swallowed guiltily. "I mean… sort of… But it's not your fault!" 

Sora gave him a withering look. "So I did it, but somehow that means it's not my fault?" 

Riku dropped his head, his fringe covering his eyes. "You didn't do this, Sora," he reassured him. 

"You just said—!" 

"But you…had a lot to do with me causing it to happen," he admitted reluctantly. 

Sora moved forward and swept Riku's hair out of his face with an irritated look. " _Look at me_ , Riku," he repeated angrily. 

"Stop it Sora!" he said, frustrated. "You're not making this any easier on me!" 

The brunet dropped his hand and stepped back. "Can we sit down and talk about this? Please? We've been best friends since I was born. I'm not going to get a silly thing like darkness get in between that." 

Riku sighed, exhausted, and came back to the fire to sit down. Why Sora had restarted it, he would never know. It was too hot on this island as it was. "Sora. I'm tired. I haven't slept yet today. If you're sticking around, can we at least talk later?" 

Sora sighed, and sat down beside him. "Okay," he said softly. "I guess we can do that." He gave Riku a weak smile. "I haven't been sleeping too well lately. But…I guess you know that." 

He gave the brunet a look. Of course he knew. He didn't choose to sleep at the hottest part of the day just because he felt like it. Sora's nightmares had been terrible, and reoccurring several times a night. Even if Riku had wanted to stick around in them all night (not that he could risk that. Sora would have too many questions for him.), he doubted he would have the energy to keep fighting them off. 

He stood and headed to the darkest corner of the caves (by the old door), unrolled the old sleeping bag to settle down. Somehow he wasn't surprised when Sora lay down beside him, tucking himself close. On his side for once, facing Riku, instead of sprawled on his back. It had to be because the bag was so small. No enough space to spread out. 

"Maybe I'll sleep better with you here," Sora murmured. 

"I'll take care of it, if you don't." 

Sora's blue eyes gazed, unwavering, into his own, silence warm and comfortable between them, before Sora's slipped closed and he fell asleep. 

~Λ~ 

He was having a nice dream. 

Walking down the beach, Riku's hand held tightly in his own-a warm, comforting weight. Every so often, they stopped, and Sora knelt down to pick up seashells. If he paid enough attention, they were shaped like Thalassa shells-a dark black colour, fading into deep purple at round bottom. Every time, Riku put it in his pocket, and they resumed walking. His pocket never seemed to be bulging, which seemed like a strange thing to be noticing in the dream. 

"Riku?" 

"Yes, Sora?" 

"Tell me you love me." 

Riku gave him a brilliant smile. "Okay. Hold out your hands." When he did, Riku tipped piles and piles of white-and-blue shells into his hands. 

"How long does it keep going?" 

"It doesn't stop." 

He woke up a little bit, not sure what had stirred him, but quickly drifted back into sleep. 

A dirty, white cat was walking along the top of a fence away from him. Idly he walked to follow it until it stopped at the end of the fence. 

It turned, staring at him with blue-green eyes that felt very familiar. It gave a single meow, before a gloved hand reached up from behind the other side of the fence to scratch its ears. He climbed up and hung over the fence, looking to see who it was. 

Riku smiled up at him, clad in the familiar black coat. "Sora, I'm sorry." 

"Sorry for what?" 

Before he got an answer, he was aware of himself again, head half-muddled from the dream. Riku was leaning over him, pressing their lips together. It felt nothing like a kiss, as Riku breathed in his breath. The dream of the cat began to dissolve like smoke, and as Riku breathed in to him again, another took its place. 

"Hello Sora!" 

He knew that voice. "Pooh!" 

"Would you like to help me get some honey?" 

He almost agreed, but then something sick and anxious twisted in his stomach. The dream vanished and he opened his eyes. He hadn't been having a nightmare, so why would Riku give him another good dream? 

Unless. 

He sat up abruptly, eyes frantically searching the Secret Place for his best friend. It was empty, but the light from the tunnel told him enough. He scrambled onto his feet, barely having time to plant them on the ground before he was racing out of the cave. 

The hatch to the other side of the island was open. Clearly Riku had been too busy to lock it closed again after himself. 

Sora scrambled up and hurried through to the other side of the island. When he passed into the light on the other side, Riku was already pushing the raft out into the waves. 

"Riku!" 

Beneath the black coat, his best friend's shoulders tensed. But he didn't stop-if anything, his speed quickened. 

"Riku!" 

"Go home, Sora!" 

He didn't think he'd ever run across the island so fast in his life, not even in the days he and Riku had raced over every little thing. But he knew he couldn't lose this time. 

He splashed through the waves until they were deep enough to swim, and then he dove. He swam as fast as he could after the raft. 

"Riku!" he yelled, waves splashing salt water into his mouth. 

"Sora, don't be stupid!" 

He was starting to think he would never make it. But then the wind stopped, and a large wave pushed the raft back towards him. 

He caught the edge of the craft in a hand and clung as tight as he could. 

" _Damn_ it, Sora," Riku growled. He knee-walked across the slats of the raft, reaching down with one hand and hauling his waterlogged friend on. 

"Thanks." Sora replied, panting hard to catch his breath. 

His best friend just fixed him with a furious glare and went back to the other end of the raft. 

Adrenaline crashing, he closed his eyes and felt tiredness clinging to him. Almost as heavy as his soaked clothes and the exhausted limbs. 

He woke up, shivering with cold. The moon was high above them, against a canopy of stars. He stared at them, bewildered when he couldn't figure out the patterns. He shuddered, hard. 

Riku moved close, but paused when their eyes met. "You're awake." 

"Where are we?" 

He just sighed. "Come here." He unzipped the front of the coat, and held the two sides open. 

Sora didn't hesitate. He scrambled over to his best friend, pressing greedily against his chest. He heard the zip tugging back up, enfolding him inside the warm fabric. Riku leaned back against the mast, and he tucked his cold nose into the warm skin of his neck. "Thanks." 

"I'm still mad at you." 

"Yeah. well. You're not getting rid of me that easy." 

They were silent for a long time, until Sora could stop shivering. 

Then he found his voice again, to repeat himself: "where are we?" In the silence that followed, he craned his neck so he could look at him. "Riku?" 

His best friend's face, uncomfortably beautiful in the moonlight, was set into an angry scowl. "I don't know Sora." 

"Well, where were you _going_?" 

"Away from you." 

"Okay, rude." 

"What's the point in lying to you _now_ , Sora?" He muttered. 

"You shouldn't be lying to me in the first place," Sora grumbled, burying his face back into Riku's neck. "The sea can't go on forever. …can it?" 

He could feel Riku's jaw tense, hear his throat as he swallowed. "Hold on to me." He wrapped his arms tightly around his best friend's waist. "Whatever happens, hold on to me tight." 

He felt Riku's arm raise, felt a familiar tingle down his spine at power gathering nearby. He turned his head, looking down the length of Riku's arm to the keyblade pointing towards the moon. 

_Oblivion?_ Why would Riku have that? 

"How long have you…?" 

Riku's other arm wrapped around his back, holding him tight through the coat. "Hold on to me, Sora. Close your eyes." 

He turned his face back, squeezed his eyes shut. "I trust you." 

A cold shiver raced up his spine as Riku did… _something_ with dark magic. The sound of rushing water was the only warning he got before he felt the raft tugged forward. It spun and whirled and twisted—he clung to Riku through it all, not knowing when it would stop… or if. 

But it did, abruptly. The raft crashed hard into something and stuck as water rushed past it. When it had settled down onto solid ground, he became aware of Riku's harsh breathing-and the swell of a calm ocean behind it. 

_At least the waves sound the same._

Riku slipped, crashing down hard on his side-his own arm breaking Sora's fall. Sky-blue eyes opened in a panic. The keyblade vanished in a cloud of black smoke. 

The dark beach was lit up only by the glowing lichen in the crevices of the rocks. No moon, no stars in the sky. Water was still trickling past them down to the shore, their raft wedged in the roots of a tangled, black tree. 

Riku's breath wasn't calming. He turned his gaze back to his best friend's face. 

Blue-green eyes, a peculiar grey colour in the light, were blown wide with panic. Lips parted as if he couldn't get enough air in his lungs. 

He pressed close to his chest. "Riku. Hold on to _me_." 

They lay in the darkness, with only their breath and the sound of the waves. 


	17. Nowhere To Run

“You could have at least grabbed the sleeping bag.” 

Riku watched as Sora turned his head to glare at him. “I was a bit distracted chasing after you before you got away! It would’ve slowed me down.” 

He didn’t think that would’ve been a bad thing. He took a sip from the water canister and passed it over to Sora. He swilled the water around his mouth, wetting everything that felt dry. “You can finish it off, but that’s the last of it.” 

Sora took a small sip, swilled it around his mouth and capped the canister again. “So, what’s the plan?” 

Survival 101. “Water source. Food.” He shrugged. “Once that’s sorted, we can deal with shelter.” He didn’t know if there was any weather to deal with in this place, but it wasn’t his top priority. He heaved himself up onto his feet, looking down at Sora. “You coming, or…?” 

Sora scrambled up onto his feet, falling into place beside him. “Alright, where are we going?” 

He just nodded towards the interior of the island. “Uphill. Hopefully there’s a spring, or a waterfall. I don’t want to have to boil water all day.” 

“Why?” Sora teased, raising his arms to prop his head up. “You got something better than that to be doing?” 

“Maybe I’ll make _you_ do that job,” he replied, rolling his eyes. “If I give you something actually important you won’t be able to slack off.” Sora pulled a face at him, and reached over to playfully shove his shoulder. “Or maybe I’ll make you find us food. That way you’ll actually _want_ to do it.” 

Sora grinned at him. 

They walked the rest of the way in silence, until both of them were noticeably tired out. On the way, both of them had ferreted out a few handfuls of dull-coloured mushrooms. They weren’t entirely sure they were edible, but they would have to try them later if they couldn’t find anything else. 

Riku stopped first, moving to sit down on one of the lichen-lined rocks. “We’ll need to head back soon,” he said. He wasn’t exactly at his breaking point yet, but Sora looked like he was wearing out, and they still needed to make their way back to the beach. 

“But we didn’t find water,” Sora pointed out. 

He sighed. “I know.” He forced a grin on his face. “Lucky for me, you’re here to boil the water for us.” 

“Me?” Sora cried. “I thought we agreed I’d find the food!” 

Riku chuckled. “How about we work on it together?” 

They headed back to the beach, settling down next to their raft. Riku unpacked the box he’d made, untying the tarpaulin around his bundle of camping stuff. They had a pot set up within a few minutes, desalinating the water from the ocean. The fire was mostly magic, a quick firaga catching on some old, dead wood. 

Sora pushed through his supplies. “You could’ve packed food,” he pointed out. 

“Everything got soaked, Sora,” he pointed out. “Would’ve been ruined anyway.” 

“A couple of coconuts would’ve been fine,” he replied. “Some fruit with skins. A bag of fish?” 

“There’s a fishing rod in there,” Riku pointed out. 

“Are there even fish in this world?” Sora asked, flopping down on the ground beside Riku and the fire-pit. 

“I’m hoping so,” Riku said, looking down at him. “If not, we’ll be eating the lichen out of these rocks forever.” 

“The glowy stuff? We can eat that?” Sora asked, surprised. 

“Uh-huh,” he answered. “It doesn’t taste nice, but it’ll do.” 

“What about the mushrooms?” The brunet asked, flipping over to look at him. 

“Could be toxic,” he answered. “We should boil them, and fry them off. Then I’ll try it, and you can watch me to make sure I’m not showing any symptoms.” 

“Wait, why are you going to try it?” Sora demanded, pushing himself up. 

Riku gave him a look. “We can’t both eat it. If it’s toxic, then we’d both be in danger. Only one of us can.” 

“Yeah, so why is it _you_?” He sat up properly, glaring. “You’re the one with the keyblade. If I need healing, you can just use that. What am _I_ supposed to do if it makes _you_ sick?” 

Riku rolled his eyes. “Wait until it passes,” he replied. “I’m not going to take enough for it to be dangerous.” 

Sora huffed. “We should get to work cooking them, then.” 

“We need enough water first. Drinking first, then boiling water.” 

He turned his head towards the beach. “The moon is going down.” Riku didn’t look. “Do you think the sun will be coming up soon?” 

Riku shifted to look at him. “I don’t think it does here, Sora,” he said quietly. “All the time I’ve spent here, I’ve only seen the moon.” 

“You spent a lot of time here?” Sora asked, scooting closer to him. 

He shifted a little further away. “Yeah,” he said. “While you were asleep.” 

“While I was… oh.” There was an awkward pause between them. “So… you coming here has a lot to do with the darkness?” 

“I suppose. If you want to put it like that.” He sighed, avoiding Sora’s gaze. “It was the only thing I could think of. The only path I knew how to open. The two of us floating on a raft? We’d never survive.” 

Sora gave him a look. “But you would’ve alone?” He asked. 

“Maybe. Better chance.” He sighed. “But… I wasn’t particularly well prepared yet. Your arrival… rushed me.” 

The brunet glared at him. “You were running from me.” 

Riku’s stomach twisted in guilt. He had been, it was true. He’d warned Sora that it was too dangerous to be around him, but he didn’t listen. He needed to protect Sora, even if it was from himself. 

“Well.” Sora gave him a sunny smile. “There’s nowhere to run from me now.” 

~V~ 

“Come on, Riku,” Sora whined. “You boiled it and fried it off and then boiled it again. If it’s safe, it’s as safe as it’s going to get.” 

“You’re right.” He squinted at the single little grey mushroom floating in the pot. “Might as well bite the bullet.” 

“Or the mushroom,” Sora said, accompanied by a bright grin. 

He groaned. “Alright.” He took the mushroom out, sitting it on the edge of the raft. “…I’ll just empty the pot first.” 

Alright, so he was wasting time. Maybe. He didn’t want to eat the mushroom. It might make him really sick. But he couldn’t put it off any longer. They needed to know if the mushrooms were safe to eat. They needed whatever food sources they could get their hands on. He hadn’t been kidding about the lichen. When he’d been here in the past, he’d survived on it. 

He emptied the pot back into the ocean, rubbed it dry with his hands and went back to the fire-pit. He came to a stop when he spotted Sora. 

The brunet grinned at him, and then shoved the mushroom into his own mouth. 

“Sora!” he shouted, panicked. He dropped the pot and rushed over to him. He grabbed the brunet’s face to force him to spit it out, but made a panicked gasp when he saw the muscles of his throat and jaw working to swallow the fungi. “Sora! What the hell?!” 

That earned him a cheeky smile. “So how long do we wait?” 

“We _don’t_!” he snapped. “You need to cough that up now!” 

Sora rolled his eyes. “That’s not gonna happen. We needed to test this. I don’t want to eat nothing but lichen for the rest of our life.” 

Riku stared at that. “The rest of our…? Sora. We’re not going to be here forever.” 

“So what’s your big master plan for getting home, then?” Sora asked, settling back against a rock. 

“We’ll…” He fell silent. “I mean…” 

He hadn’t thought of that. Last time Sora’s heart had connected with Kairi’s and opened the door to light. Before that, he’d traveled through the corridors of darkness. The ones that didn’t exist anymore. 

“Axel and Kairi will figure something out.” 

Sora gave him a look. “ _That’s_ your plan? Wait for them to come save us?” 

“Well _your_ plan is to spend the rest of our lives here, apparently.” 

“It wouldn’t be so bad,” he said gently. “I’d have you.” 

A lump formed in his throat. He let Sora’s face go and sat back, leaning against the mast of the raft. He swallowed, watching the brunet for a long moment. “What about Kairi?” 

Sora gave him a sunny grin. It seemed incongruent with the tone of the conversation. “Kairi will be fine. She’s at home, with our friends and her family.” He moved one hand up, holding it over his chest. “She’s okay. I know she is.” 

Riku smiled. The two of them had that connection. It hurt, even though he was happy for them. He ducked behind his fringe, feeling the darkness spread through-out his body. “She’ll find a way to bring you home.” 

“And then we’ll go home together!” 

He shifted, not responding to that. 

“Riku. We’re going home together.” 

“We’ll find some way to get you home,” he replied. 

“Us.” 

He didn’t reply to that either. 

Sora’s glare hardened, moving closer and grabbing Riku’s face in both of his hands. He tilted his head up, fringe falling aside. “Us. Riku,” he insisted. “I’m not leaving this island unless it’s with you at my side.” 

“Twenty minutes to four hours.” 

His face twisted up in confusion. “Huh?” 

“The mushroom. If it’s toxic, it should set in as early as twenty minutes. If four hours have passed with nothing, then it means they’re safe to eat.” 

“You just jumped back two whole conversations there,” he said. “But okay. That’s good to know. Four hours.” He nodded to himself. “Maybe we should wait five just to be safe.” 

“Good idea,” Riku agreed. 

“You’ll have to stay right here,” he said. “Keep close. Make sure you’re monitoring my health carefully.” 

“…okay.” 

Sora grinned, taking Riku’s hand and pressing it against his chest. “You’re going to keep this hand right here, monitor my heartbeat, make sure it’s steady.” 

“…okay?” 

“And you’re going to have to pay close attention. Make sure I’m not delirious, or hallucinating.” 

“For four hours.” Riku raised his eyebrows. “Sounds entertaining.” 

“Oh, it will be.” Sora met his eyes. “We’re going to talk.” 


	18. Bravery

“Riku. Riku! Rikuuuuuuuu!” 

“Sora, that’s getting annoying.” 

“Good. I’ll keep going until you talk to me.” 

He sighed. He moved his hand up, pressing it against Sora’s forehead to check his temperature. Then he studied his eyes, making sure they were dilating and focusing properly. 

“Riiikuuuuuu!” 

“Alright!” he snapped, frustrated. “We’ll talk!” He sat back, pressing his hand back against Sora’s chest. Feeling the thrum of his warm, good heart against his hand. “We should lie down. Make sure we’re comfortable.” 

He was putting it off again, and the look in Sora’s eyes made it clear he knew what was going on. But he co-operated at least, letting Riku dig them out a little groove and piling it up so it was kind of like an armchair. 

He settled down, sitting in the pit, and blinked when Sora sat directly in his lap. “Sora.” 

“Riku.” He shifted, using the other’s knees as a backrest. “Heartbeat.” 

Riku sighed, moving his hand up to press against Sora’s chest. “You could just _tell_ me if it picks up speed.” 

“You might notice before I do.” Sora was wearing that smug grin again. “Now. We talk. Actually this time.” 

“We talked before.” 

“You told me about how to remove lichen from the rocks. For twenty minutes.” 

“What else would we talk about?” Riku asked, avoiding his gaze. 

“You _know_ what we have to talk about, Riku,” Sora said, annoyed. “And I’m not moving from this seat until we’ve finished talking it all out.” 

He sighed. “My legs are already going numb.” 

“Good. You won’t be able to run away from me.” 

“I could crawl.” 

“You wouldn’t get very far.” 

He leaned back into the sand, letting his fringe slip in front of his eyes. It only lasted ten seconds before Sora was pushing it to the side. “Sora…” 

“Do you want me to start?” The brunet suggested, moving his arms comfortably beside him. “Because I think this all started with… the kiss. I never explained and you seemed happy to act like it never happened.” 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said, shifting as best as he could with Sora on his stomach. 

“Well, you can just close your mouth and listen then,” Sora suggested. 

“I don’t really want to hear about it either.” 

Sora reached out to poke him in the cheek. “Too bad you don’t have a choice about that one. You can either talk, or you can listen. Your choice.” 

He huffed and folded his arms over his chest. 

“Listen it is.” Sora leaned forward slightly. His heart picked up a little, probably nerves, but then it settled back down. “I thought…” He sighed. 

“Sora. Don’t.” He said, sitting up. “I know what happened.” 

Sora’s face wrinkled up in confusion. “Then why are you…?” 

“You were practicing. For Kairi,” he replied. He’d said the words. They made his heart twist in a dark feeling he couldn’t name. 

“ _What_?!” Sora asked, his jaw dropping to gape like a fish. 

“I _heard you_ , Sora,” he replied. “In the kitchen at breakfast. You told Kairi that you were going to practice that day.” Sora didn’t answer, still staring at him slack-jawed. “I can’t believe you’d use me like that. Or trick me to do it.” 

Sora reached out and smacked him in the shoulder. “Riku!” he cried, outraged. “Do you seriously think I would **actually** do that to you?” 

“I never wanted to think that you _could_ ,” he answered quietly. 

“Riku, I didn’t!” Sora smacked him again. “I wouldn’t do that to you!” 

“But you _did_.” 

“I did **not**!” he yelled. “I wasn’t **using you** to practice for Kairi!” 

“Then what the hell was that about?” Riku demanded. 

Sora sat back, crossing his arms and glaring at him. Hard. “I was _talking_ about practicing _with_ Kairi!” That only caused Riku more confusion. A slight blush spread across his cheeks. “I… I wanted to practice pretending to fall asleep. Kairi was… advising me.” 

“She did a terrible job,” Riku snapped, irritable. “You snore. Loudly.” Kairi knew that. She must’ve. So why had she… 

“She did that on purpose!” Sora said, horrified. “She tricked me!” 

Riku gave him a look. “Sorry if I’m not feeling sorry for you, Sora,” he replied icily. “Since you tricked _me_. And right now I don’t even know _why_.” 

“…right. Right. I was getting to that.” Sora shifted again, arms tightening in their fold and relaxing just slightly. “I… I just wanted to know what it was like. What was happening when I was asleep. I wasn’t meant to… _wake up_ , or whatever. But…” Sora’s teeth dug into the pink tan of his lips. “I wasn’t expecting it to be so… So…” 

“So?” Riku prompted, his head swirling as he listened. 

“So… intense.” Sora nodded, as if he’d decided that was a good word for it. “I was just meant to keep pretending to be asleep. You were never supposed to know I was awake. Kairi must’ve… she told me I should just _ask you_ , instead of trying to pretend.” He huffed. “She did that on purpose. She knows I snore.” 

“Yeah,” Riku said stiffly. “You should’ve just asked.” He moved Sora off his lap. The brunet moved, giving him confused looks. “My feet are numb. I’m going to walk it off.” 

Sora got up and walked with him. Of course he did. But he didn’t say anything. He just walked next to him, pausing every time Riku stopped to stamp the pins and needles out of his feet. 

They walked up to a twisted rock formation, then looped around to go back to the raft. All the while, Riku tried to pick through the sticky mess in his head. Follow threads of thought to the end―only to find they all knotted together in the same twisted jumble. 

Sora hadn’t tricked him to practice kissing for Kairi. Sora had tricked him… to know what was happening to him in his sleep. Riku couldn’t _blame_ him for wanting to know. 

“You shouldn’t have tried to trick me, Sora,” he said, as they drew closer to the raft. “I would’ve shown you. If you asked.” 

Sora stuffed his hands into his pockets. “I know. But I didn’t want it to be different. I wanted it to be exactly like it was supposed to be when I was asleep.” 

Riku’s mouth twisted up in a bitter sort of smile. “It wasn’t,” he replied. “It was nothing like it.” 

“I know.” Sora turned his head to look at him. “I woke up,” he said quietly. “Yesterday. On the island. When you tried to put me in a nice dream so you could sneak off. I woke up while you were doing that.” 

Riku sighed, reaching up to run his fingers through his fringe. He stopped at the edge of the raft, looking at the hourglass perched on the edge closest to the fire. “Big difference, huh?” 

“Yeah.” He sighed. Sora dropped down into the sand chair, looking up at him. “I’m sorry,” he said. “For doing it in the first place. And leaving it so long to explain why.” 

“I forgive you,” Riku said. “Is that all you wanted to talk about?” 

Sora gave him a weird look for that. “Don’t you have anything you want to talk to me about?” 

“Nope.” He pointed at the hourglass. “Fifth hour is up. Let’s eat the rest of those mushrooms.” He turned and walked away to get the pot. He could feel Sora’s eyes on him as he went. 

~V~ 

When he woke up, Sora was leaning over him. He licked dry lips and stared up at him. “Sora? What are you doing?” 

“You’re still trying to avoid me.” 

“I think that’s pretty hard to do when you’re a hand-span away from my face, Sora.” 

Sora wriggled one hand out of the coat and flicked him in the ear. “You know exactly what I mean, Riku. We’ve been here for three days. You still won’t _tell_ me anything.” 

He sat up with a groan, reaching up to undo the zipper on the black coat. “I don’t have anything to say.” He wriggled to try and shift out from underneath him. “We don’t need to talk.” 

He didn’t get far before Sora grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him back into the ground. “Nope. You’re not running away from me.” 

“Sora. Let me up.” He pushed against his arms, trying to dislodge him. 

“Riku. No.” Sora was giving him an intense look, leaning down on him heavily. 

“Sora, this isn’t funny.” 

“Do I look like I’m laughing?” 

Riku stopped struggling, looking up at him with a cold glare. “You wanna talk? Fine! We’ll talk. Let me up.” 

Sora regarded him suspiciously for a long moment. Then, slowly, he sat up and climbed off. He leaned against the mast of the raft, sky-blue eyes watching him carefully. 

Riku sat up, leaning against his knees. He rubbed at his eyes, trying to push away the sleep. “What are we supposed to be talking about?” He asked. 

“Why don’t we start with what you meant by telling me that it was my fault you turned to darkness again?” Sora suggested. In the tone of voice that made it clear he didn’t mean it as a suggestion at all. 

“No,” he said. “I don’t want to talk about that. I’m not _ready_ to talk about that.” 

Sora huffed angrily out of his nose. “Riku, I’m tired of this. Why won’t you _talk_ to me?” 

“I’ll talk to you. Just not about that.” He shook his head, moving his fringe back into his eyes. “You haven’t had a nightmare since we’ve been here, have you noticed?” 

“Yeah. It’s not something that’s escaped my attention.” To none of Riku’s surprise, familiar fingers brushed the fringe out of his face. “It’s because of you, Riku. I’m not scared when you’re around.” 

“Well. Good.” Riku tucked a bit of hair behind his ear. “I’ll be scared enough for the both of us.” 

Sora looked at him for a long time. “You…” 

“What?” 

“You admitted you’re scared. You never admit that.” 

He shrugged. “I’m not embarrassed to admit that to you, Sora.” It was probably the easiest part of his feelings he _could_ admit to Sora. 

The brunet leaned forward and kissed his forehead. “Okay. I’ll be the brave one this time.” 


	19. What if You Could Only Speak the Truth?

“Sora, I love you.” 

Sora turned his head. “Hm?” 

They’d been in the realm of darkness for two weeks now. They’d made a sort of shelter, propping up the raft as a roof and hanging the tarpaulin down as the walls. It had rained once, but it had lasted only a few minutes and tapered off. They slept together, using the coat as a sleeping bag or a floor cover depending on the wind. 

“I said…” He swallowed, staring at Sora on the other side of the outspread coat. “I love you.” 

The brunet yawned, looking at him through half-lidded eyes. A sleepy smile was tugging at his lips. “I love you too, Riku.” 

He sighed. His stomach twisted up, but he made himself keep eye contact with sky-blue eyes. “No. I mean…” He clenched and unclenched his fists tightly. “Not like that. That’s not what I mean.” 

Sora groaned tiredly, reaching up to rub his face. “Okay,” he said, “what do you mean?” 

His nerve escaped him, draining like water back to the ocean. “…nothing,” he said quickly. “We can talk in the morning.” 

The brunet’s eyes slipped closed. “Mhm,” he hummed. “Remind me, okay? I don’t want to forget.” 

“Goodnight, Sora.” 

Riku didn’t sleep for hours, instead listening to Sora snore beside him. Why had he even brought it up? With any luck, Sora wouldn’t remember this later, and he wouldn’t have to deal with it. Two weeks, every moment with Sora, literally nowhere else to go from one another―the truth was getting harder to keep in. 

It was easier before, in their world. There was always someone else to talk to, or something else to do. If they separated, to go for a walk or take a private moment, it was only a matter of time until they came back together. 

In the morning, he busied himself desalinating the seawater. Sora smiled at him every time their eyes met, but as the morning progressed they became a little more confused. 

Eventually, the brunet stood. “Alright. I’m going to talk a walk down the beach. See if there’s anything else to eat.” 

“Want me to come with you?” Riku asked, glancing up at him. 

He grinned. “Can if you want.” 

Riku got the distinct feeling that if he went with Sora now, there would be Talking going on. He dropped his gaze back down to his hands. “I should keep an eye on the fire. Make sure we get enough water for today.” 

“Alright,” Sora said easily. “I’ll be back before noon.” 

‘Noon’―or at least, when the moon had risen and sat directly above them. The moon was the closest thing this world had to a sun. They’d quickly taken to using it to judge the days and nights in this place. 

When Sora was out, Riku sat next to the fire and watched the water condense on the upside down pot lid. 

Clearly Sora didn’t remember what he’d said last night. Thankfully. The last thing they needed was awkward air between them. It was bad enough, the truth bubbling out ready to spill at any moment. He couldn’t let that happen. 

“Riku!” 

He glanced up, looking at Sora running back down the beach towards him, jumping over rocks as he went. 

“Riku! You have to come see this!” 

Wrinkling his forehead in confusion, he sat up and brushed the sand off his pants. He took the pot off the fire and walked towards him. Once he was close enough, he asked: “what? Did you find something?” 

“You wouldn't believe me if I told you.” Sora reached down, grabbing Riku’s hand. “Come on!” 

He let himself be dragged along, doing his best to keep pace with the enthusiastic brunet. They ate the same amount of food every day, yet Sora always seemed to be brimming with more energy than he could muster up. It was just something about him. Something that drew Riku closer to him. 

Darkness was always greedy to swallow the light. 

“Riku look!” 

He looked. “A palm tree. Did you find coconuts, or…?” 

“Better than that!” Sora said eagerly. “Look up there!” 

Riku followed his line, looking up toward the top of the branches. “Is that…” 

“It’s paopu fruit!” He grinned, holding fast to his arm. “Fruit, Riku! It tastes a whole lot better than mushrooms and lichen! Sweet, and juicy.” 

He felt all his muscles tensing up. Sora knew how the paopu tasted. He’d wondered, for months, what had happened to the paopu he’d given the two of them. Deep down, in the pit of his dark, broken heart, he knew the two of them had eaten it. But he’d hoped that they hadn’t. That for some reason they decided they shouldn’t do it. 

Now he knew for sure. 

He swallowed. “I’m sure it tastes better on Kairi’s lips, right?” 

“Riku, what…?” 

“I’m not eating paopu. But feel free to knock yourself out.” 

He turned and walked away, ignoring Sora behind him. 

Sora didn’t talk to him once he got back to camp, and ignored him completely until after the moon set. And then he shoved a plate in Riku’s face. 

“What’s this?” 

“Dinner.” Sora dropped down in front of him, holding Riku’s plate out for him to take. “Four mushrooms, a handful of lichen and half a paopu fruit.” 

“Sora,” he said. “I already told you―” 

“And this is the _whole_ paopu fruit on my plate,” Sora replied. “Just so you can’t accuse me of tricking you into eating one with me.” 

He took the plate, staring down at the meal. “Sora… I―” 

“Unless this is an explanation about why _exactly_ you think I’m the kind of guy who tricks you into entwining our destinies, shut up, Riku.” 

He gaped, staring at Sora across the fire. He’d gone and made him mad. He can’t remember a time when he’d actually made Sora _mad_ at him before. He’d traded himself to the darkness, and Sora had still forgiven him the instant he appeared to him close the door. 

He lowered his eyes, letting his hair fall in his face. For once, Sora didn’t try to brush it away. He really was mad. “There are… some things I want to tell you, Sora,” he admitted. “But if I tell you… _when_ I can tell you…” 

“Then?” 

“It won’t disappear. Once it’s out there, there’s no taking it back. And until I’m sure I can deal with that, I can’t tell you.” 

A long silence followed that. 

Then Sora started picking at his plate. “Okay.” 

“Okay? That’s it… just okay?” 

“Yeah, Riku. ‘Okay’.” Confused, Riku lifted his eyes up to him. “And when you tell me whatever it is you want to tell me, that’ll be okay too.” 

Riku dropped his eyes back down. “We’ll see if you still feel that way afterwards.” 

~V~ 

There was a strange energy in the air all day. Like the electricity before a summer storm. But thicker, denser—it itched the skin instead of tingling. Sora was restless, he kept disappearing into the depth of the island and coming back with more mushrooms he’d dug out from secret places. 

“Well, now we have enough mushrooms to last us a week,” Riku said, watching as he tipped another pocketful into the rough bag they’d been using to store them in. “I’m going to do our laundry.” 

“Really, Riku?” Sora asked, giving him a look. 

“What do you mean _‘really’_?” Riku asked. 

“I mean, so far today you’ve taken the shelter down, rearranged it, built a new fire-pit, collected a week’s worth of firewood, desalinated four pots of water and _now_ you want to do laundry.” 

“…the clothes are starting to smell.” 

Sora rolled his eyes and started tugging his shirt off. “Fine. Keep your hands busy.” Riku averted his eyes as the rest of Sora’s clothes joined the pile in front of him. 

“I changed the water so I _could_ boil the clothes,” he mumbled, turning his back so he could strip off as well. “I’ll clean our underwear after our other stuff is dry.” 

“Too late,” Sora teased, accompanied by another thump as more clothes joined the piles. “I’m going to go swim anyway.” 

Riku blushed and, stripping down to his own underwear, got to work boiling their clothes clean. Quietly, he heard gentle splashing in the water as Sora paddled around the shore. He stirred them around with a long stick, hanging them over the edge of the raft to dry in the air, over the heat of the fire. 

He stoked it, set another log on, and then wandered down to the waterline. “Seen any fish yet?” 

“Not yet,” he replied, coming up to rest on the sandbank. 

Riku took a seat on the waterline, waves lapping at his bare feet. “Remember the fish that were so docile on the play island you could swim right up to them and catch them with your bare hands?” 

“Sure do,” he replied, grinning. “How many times did we catch lunch that way because we didn’t want to row home yet?” 

Riku chuckled. “Every day? Almost.” 

Sora used his elbows to crawl up the sandbank to get closer to him. “Never thought I’d miss the taste of fried fish.” 

“You know what I miss?” Riku replied, looking at him. “Your mother’s casserole.” 

He made a quiet, sad whine. “I miss Mom. I don’t remember if I told her goodbye before I went to the island.” 

“Sorry I brought it up,” he said quietly. 

“No. It’s okay.” Sora gently splashed water at his feet. “It’s good to talk about stuff.” 

Riku picked up a twig and dug a line in the sand. “I miss my Mom.” 

“You still remember her?” He asked, his voice gentle. 

Riku shrugged. “A little bit.” He sighed and flicked the twig away. “She smelt like frangipanis. She used to sing a lullaby about the turtle.” 

“The one who lost his fin?” Sora asked, a small smile settling on his face. “I think I remember.” He sat up, playing with the sand between his hands. “She used to tell a story, Mom says. When I was first born.” 

“Oh no,” he groaned. “Not that old thing.” 

The brunet laughed. “Come on. It’s a nice story. Newborn me, one-year-old you—” 

“Eighteen months.” 

“Being older doesn’t make you sound any better.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Your mother showed you to me the first day she got back from the hospice. I declared then and there that you were mine.” He huffed, pursing his lips together. “I’ve heard that story too, Sora.” 

“Well, _I_ think it’s sweet,” Sora protested. “We were best friends. From practically the first day I was born.” 

Riku lowered his eyes, letting his fringe fall in his face. “Yeah. Right. Best friends.” 

Then, predictably, Sora reached up to brush the fringe out of his face. “Riku?” 

“Sora…” He swallowed, and avoided his gaze. “Kairi is…” 

“Kairi is?” 

“Kairi is your most important person.” 

“Yeah,” Sora answered in a soft voice. “She is.” 

Riku swallowed. No backing out now. “You… you’re…” He sighed, clenched his fists, took a deep breath. “Do you remember Beat and Rhyme? From Traverse Town?” 

“In the sleeping world?” Sora asked, his forehead wrinkling up in confusion. 

“Beat said something. Back then. About her.” Fists clenched. Released. He had to do this. He had to get these words out. 

Sora tucked a bit of hair behind his ear. “Uh-huh. What did he say?” 

“He… he called her… _‘the one person who matters’_.” Riku glanced at Sora’s face, but he didn’t see any recognition there. “You… To me, that…” _Just do it!_ “That person is you, Sora.” 

Understanding dawned across his face. “…Riku.” 

“As much as I’d like to say I’ll come back later—” They both jumped apart to turn and see Lea standing by their shelter, “I really can’t hold this door open for too much longer.” 

“Axel,” Riku said, getting to his feet and covering his chest up. “You came for us.” 

The redhead gave them a lazy smile. “Sorry it took so long. Pathways to this place don’t exactly exist you know.” He tossed their clothes down onto the sand. “Get dressed. I wasn’t kidding about the door.” 


	20. Clarity

“Sora!” 

“Kairi!” 

Riku’s grip was suddenly empty. Sora was rushing past Lea’s shoulders, practically flying between each step. He glanced at the empty space in his hand where Sora’s had been a moment ago. So that’s what it was. 

“You okay there, buddy?” Lea asked, glancing back at him. 

He just shrugged, clenched his fists, then tucked them back into the pockets of the black Nobody coat. “Kairi is his most important person.” 

Lea gave him a long look. “And Sora is _‘the one person that matters’_ , right?” 

His stomach twisted up. He’d heard that. Of course had had. “Shut up, Axel.” 

“It’s not so bad,” Lea said, nodding his head towards Kairi and Sora. They were holding one another tightly, as if they would never let go. “At least yours is still alive.” 

Riku’s breath left. Like Lea had punched him in the gut. “Damn it,” he said. “Lea, I’m sorry. I didn’t think―” 

The redhead just shook his head. Once, firmly. Right. They weren’t going to talk about it. That was fine. “Sora is still here.” 

“He is.” Sora was still here. Or more technically, over there. With his most important person. Riku tugged his coat closer over his shoulders. “I want to go home,” he said. “Shower, put new clothes on, sleep in an actual bed for once.” Hopefully with Sora beside him. But he wasn’t holding his breath. 

“Well. You know the way.” 

The door was locked, Lea told him his father had done it. He could’ve gone to see him, to get him to open it. Instead, he summoned his keyblade with an annoyed grunt and forced it open. The redhead side-eyed him warily, but didn’t say anything. 

He got his shower, his fresh clothes, and even tasty food Lea had brought around while he was scrubbing sand out of every crevice of his skin. But he didn’t get his sleep. 

~V~ 

After hours of trying, he stood and left the bedroom. Lea looked up from the couch, over the top of a book. “Can’t sleep?” 

“No.” 

“Something the matter?” 

Riku sighed, shaking his hair into his eyes. “…Sora snores.” 

“Ah.” Lea shoved a makeshift bookmark to hold his place, and closed the book, sitting up. “Want to hang?” 

“I’m just going to go for a walk,” Riku shrugged. “You can use the guest room. Don’t wait up.” 

He didn’t wait for an answer. He walked out of the house, breathing in the late night air. The streetlights were up and running again. The streets were softly aglow with a warm, orange candlelight that danced inside the glass. Some people smiled and waved to him. It was nice to know he had been missed. 

His father’s house was already dark. He penned a note in the workshop, announcing his return, his visit, and promising to stop by soon. Then he closed everything back up and headed back out again. 

His feet dragged him to Sora’s house. The bedroom windows were all out, but even as he stopped by the garden path, the kitchen light flicked on. Sora’s mouther appeared, silhouetted, in the window by the sink. She paused, and then a few moments later, she was opening the front door. “Riku? Are you going to stand out there all night?” 

He stepped closer, halfway up the garden path. “I didn’t think you’d still be up. I didn’t want to...” 

“Come on inside. I’ll make you a cacao drink.” She was warm and familiar. He followed her through the house―he felt like he hadn’t been there in years. And maybe he hadn’t. He perched on one of the old chairs at the dining table, hands tucked into his sides. “Here we are. Strong, with a hint of cinnamon―just how you like it.” 

He tucked his hands around it. “Thanks, Mother.” 

There was a pause, and when he looked up at her she was wearing a gentle smile. “You haven’t called me that since you were a kid.” 

He didn’t answer, picking up his drink to sip. Once he’d set it back down, he asked: “did Sora go to Kairi’s tonight?” 

“No, he’s upstairs,” she answered. “He wanted to go home, but he passed out before dinner, even.” 

“He must’ve been exhausted then. Sora never misses a meal.” He picked up his mug again, holding it in both hands. “Kairi will have to cope without him for one more night.” 

“Kairi?” She asked, taking a seat across from him. 

“Mm. His girlfriend,” he replied. He tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice, but he didn’t think it succeeded. 

Sora’s mother looked at him for a long time. “Riku… you know that your mother and I were best friends growing up, don’t you?” 

He nodded. “Dad said so. The four of you used to spend all of your time together when you were young.” 

She nodded. “You remind me a lot of her, you know,” she said softly. 

“He says I look like her,” he said quietly. 

“You do,” she answered. “But that’s not what I meant.” 

He wrinkled his forehead up in confusion. “How do you mean?” 

“She was quiet, and serious. And she clung to us, didn’t get particularly close to many other people.” 

“Sounds familiar.” He rubbed his fingers against the table, letting his fringe hide his eyes again. “I’ve been thinking about her a lot lately.” 

“She was very important to me.” She continued. “Sometimes, she had these moments. Everything would be fine, but she’d catch…your grandpa always called them ‘the blues’. For a long time, she thought it was things that had set her off. The things that made her happy, sometimes. She found excuses to push those things away, push me away.” 

He swallowed, hands trembling on the table. He moved them down onto his lap. “Oh?” 

“It was your father that helped her see that she could still enjoy the things, the people she loved, even when she was feeling blue. He didn’t try to make her feel better, he helped her figure out that she could help herself. I think that’s what made her really fall in love with him. She said he was like her midnight sun.” 

He gave a startled sort of laugh, more of a huffing exhale than a proper laugh. “Why are you telling me this, Mother?” 

She gave him a smile, and laid her hand on the table for him to take. He did so, nervously. “I used to think Sora was your midnight sun, Riku. But I don’t think it’s really worked for you recently, has it?” 

He tried to pull his hand away, but she squeezed it. He sighed, let her keep it. “Sora has Kairi. She’s his most important person. His girlfriend.” He squeezed his eyes shut, not that she could see them through his hair. “I love him. But he’s not gay.” 

“Riku, I don’t think it’s as simple as that.” 

He made a frustrated noise, deep in his throat. “I wish everybody would stop _saying_ that and just tell me what they _mean_!” 

She chuckled softly, patted his hand a couple times and let it go. “Riku, dear. Do you really think something like gender matters to a boy like Sora?” She stood and smiled down at him. “I think if you really read into your feelings, you’ll see what ‘ _everybody_ ’ means.” Pulling her dressing gown closer around herself. “I should go to bed. You know where to find Sora’s room. Is there anything I can do for you?” 

“Actually… there is one thing.” 


	21. House of Three

“You cut your hair short again.” 

He stirred awake. He was curled up next to Sora, he knew that from the smell. There were gentle fingers carding through his hair―as little of it as there was now. Another hand was around his back, fingers tracing a familiar pattern on his skin. 

“Technically,” Riku replied, his voice rough with sleep, “your mother cut it.” 

“You were here last night?” Sora asked. “I guess that explains waking up with you in my bed.” 

“You had a nightmare,” Riku said, eyes still closed. “Weeks in the realm of darkness and you didn’t have so much as one. Slept like baby, albeit one that snores very loudly, all that time. The minute you’re home safe, you’re dreaming about heartless again.” 

“I didn’t need to be afraid there,” Sora said quietly. “I had you.” 

He opened his eyes, carefully studying the brunet’s expression. “You’ll always have me.” 

“So, why the haircut?” Sora asked, tugging a lock of his now significantly shorter fringe. No longer long enough to hide behind, even if he tried. 

He chuckled. “Weeks spent on a deserted, dark beach without a hair-comb,” he replied. Then he paused, and looked at Sora quietly. “No. Not really. I cut it for the same reason I cut it last time.” 

Sora’s forehead wrinkled up in confusion. “What do you mean?” 

“It’s heavy,” he replied. “And it makes it too easy to hide, to shroud myself in darkness.” 

“So?” 

“Cut it off, start afresh. Let myself grow again. Towards the light.” 

Sora’s face turned up and a soft, little smile. “I like that.” The smile changed, widened, shifting into an open grin. “And now I can see your eyes.” 

A familiar nervous feeling twisted in his stomach. “Sora…” 

“Riku?” 

He reached down, took one of Sora’s hands in his and held it tightly. “I love you.” 

A goofy grin crossed Sora’s face. It looked at home there. “I love you too!” he said brightly. 

“No, Sora,” he said firmly. “This is different. I know I’m your best friend. But… this is different.” 

He’d been practicing exactly what to say and how to let Sora know the truth in his head for months. He’d prepared for this, even the look of confusion that crossed Sora’s face at that. 

“ _I’m_ not saying that I love you as a friend, Sora. I mean, I do! But I also mean it more than that.” 

“Riku,” Sora said carefully. “I love you too.” 

“Sora, stop,” Riku said impatiently. “What I’m _trying_ to tell you, is that I love you. In the same way that you love Kairi.” 

Sora was frowning at him. “Okay, that’s fine, Riku but―” 

“I’m not going to make it strange,” he said. “It’s been years, and I’ve treated you the same. Nothing is going to change between us. I promise.” 

“Years.” 

“As long as I can remember, Sora,” he replied. “Before I even knew what this kind of love was.” 

Sora’s hand squeezed his, in an attempt to be reassuring. “You don’t have to make any promises, Riku. They don’t matter. I love you.” 

“Sora, stop!” he said angrily. “I don’t need to hear right now that I’m your best friend.” 

Sora reached up and flicked him in the ear. “No. _You_ listen to _me_ , Riku.” 

“Ow,” he said, scowling back at him and rubbing his ear. “Fine. I’m listening.” 

Sky-blue eyes bore into his intently. “You were my first friend, Riku. You have always been. Nothing you can say will change that.” He shifted their hands, intertwining their fingers. “But I’m also saying that I love you.” 

Riku cringed and turned away. “Sora…” 

“You said you would listen,” the brunet said impatiently. 

“Sora, you and I _both_ know that Kairi is your most important person.” 

“That doesn’t mean you don’t matter!” Sora shouted suddenly. 

He froze. Sora rarely lost his temper so quickly, not unless things were serious. He shifted his gaze back to meet Sora’s, wishing he had hair to hide behind again. “Sora…?” 

“I _love_ you, the same way I love Kairi. And in your own way. Kairi may be my most important person, but you come next.” 

He swallowed. “I don’t… I don’t…” His hand tightened around Sora’s then released. 

“You don’t?” 

“Understand. I don’t understand.” 

Sora sighed, shifting closer to him. His other hand moved, around his back, tracing the pattern of his tattoo in familiar movements. “You know all about my fears, my darkest and worst dreams.” 

“I do,” Riku said. He wasn't sure where Sora was going with this. Was he just changing the subject? 

“But you don’t know my best.” 

He sighed. “I guess I don’t. You’ve only ever needed me to chase away your darkness.” 

Sora scoffed at that. “I’ll come back to you being wrong about that later. But I’m trying to make a point, Riku.” 

“Okay, sorry. I’m listening.” 

“My best dreams. You don’t know what they are.” He traced the symbol, one loop, two. “They’re us. Kairi, and me… and you, too.” 

Riku’s forehead wrinkled up in confusion. “All… all three?” 

Sora’s hand moved, tugging him closer. “I didn’t know that you didn’t know how I felt,” he said softly. “I never talked about it, because you hate sappy stuff.” He swallowed, resting their foreheads together. “This is what you meant. By me causing you to go to the darkness, isn’t it?” 

“It… it had a lot to do with it,” he replied reluctantly. “It had more to do with me.” 

Sora tilted his head and made a curious noise. “What do you mean by that?” 

He reached up, tucking a lock of newly-shortened hair behind his ear. “I think my Mom had the same darkness as me. I was talking to your mother last night,” he said softly. “It doesn’t come from other people. It comes from me. Inside me.” 

“But what can I do to help?” Sora whined. 

He chuckled at that. “You do what you’re good at, Sora. You stay positive. You be the best friend I never deserved. You―” 

“Love you.” 

“Huh.” 

“I love you.” 

“Still lost.” 

Sora squeezed their hands. “I love you. No matter what.” 

~V~ 

Things settled into what became easily normal. Riku went back to work with his father, Sora went back to work at the convenience store his family owned. He stopped trying to push the brunet at Kairi. 

Sora spent half his nights with Kairi, and half his nights at home. She woke Sora if he had nightmares while he was with her, Riku took them away if he was home. 

He still struggled with his darkness. Being home, and having Sora beside him didn’t make it go away. But when he was down, Sora was there, bright and unfaltering, ready to welcome him back into the light in his own time. 

During their first hurricane season after returning to normal, Kairi ended up staying with them. Four days in, the words popped out of his mouth: “Maybe you should move in.” The two of them looked up from their game of cards. He set down the bowl of pasta and took a seat beside Sora. 

“Move in?” Kairi repeated, looking across at him. “Here?” 

He nodded. “It’s not a fancy place like the mayor’s house―and you’ll have to put up with my cooking. But you could move in. Live with us. The three of us. Together.” 

Sora beamed at him. He leaned forward and kissed his cheek. 

“Hm,” she said quietly. “I’ll think about it.” 

At first, she only stayed over the nights she shared with Sora. The first night, with Sora and Kairi sleeping in Sora’s old bed in the spare room, he woke up with the familiar cry of the nightmares. He was up, on his feet, and into the next room before he could probably remember that Kairi was here. 

She looked up at him, one hand on Sora’s shoulder to wake him. “Did we wake you?” She whispered. 

“Yeah,” he said, coming down to crouch beside the bed. “But it’s okay. He always does.” 

She tilted her head at him. “Even when he’s with me?” 

He nodded. “I could… take care of him now. You wouldn’t have to wake him up.” 

She smiled. “If you’d like.” 

He leaned over, bringing their lips together. It was nothing like the kisses they shared awake―now that he knew with certainty what they were like. He gave Sora the best dream, the three of them together on the play island. When he pulled back, Kairi was still watching him. 

“He should sleep through the night now.” 

She ran her fingers through Sora’s hair. “Do you think it’s weird that we don’t love each other? Like we love Sora?” She asked. 

He shrugged, sitting back more comfortably on the floor. “Not really,” he replied. “Sora loves us, we love Sora. We always said, whatever makes him happy, right?” 

She nodded. “This makes him happy.” 

“I’m happy,” he said. “He’s happy. If you’re happy too, then it works.” He tucked a lock of hair behind his ear. “Are you happy, Kairi?” 

“I’d be happier if Sora picked up his dirty clothes from the floor,” she teased, smiling. He laughed. Sora snored on between them. “Yes, Riku. I’m happy.” 

He smiled. “Then, we’re happy.” He got to his feet. “Sleep well. I’ll see you both in the morning.” 

She lay back down, pulling an eye-mask over her eyes. “I’ll cook breakfast. Goodnight Riku.” 

He headed back to his bedroom, lay down and closed his eyes. He could hear Sora snoring through the wall. A smile on his face, he drifted off to sleep. 

Sora was there when he woke up, and he was smiling. 

The End 

**Author's Note:**

> This story is now complete.   
> If you could take a little time after reading to leave a comment, I'd really appreciate it. There's a good number of readers, which is nice to see in a new fandom, and I'm getting some good feedback from those of you who were kind enough to comment.   
> Just a couple words would do, if you could. Thank you to those who have done so while this work was ongoing.  
> Thank you all for reading.


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